Euphonical

Mellow rays of memory

2009-11-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

She might be around 12 years old… slim and beautiful…. with sleepy eyes, loosely tied hair, a heavy school bag on her shoulder and clad in a coffee brown pinafore with cream inner shirt…. a typical school girl. She lazily boarded the bus and with her droopy eyes she started exploring for a vacant seat. She was apprehensively eyeing the vacant seat next to me and slowly took a step forward but retraced nabbing her purpose at the last moment. She turned towards me, still fighting with her cerebrations and I gestured her to sit down. She sat down beside me but with great dubiety. The weariness due to a draggy day at school might have impelled her to make the decision.

She was not young enough to be my daughter and was not old enough to be my sister but I felt a similar bond with her. A fond regard which was unaccountable. The air around her, her slender arms with tiddly hairs, her visible cares of sitting with a man, the way she clumsily moved her head, her hand kerchief stained with blue ink, her uniform, the belt and the black shoes….. reminded me of the girls in my school days. I felt a sudden urge to go back to my school and to be with my friends.

In the short journey, I remembered all my friends in school- boys and girls, who were once an inherent part of my life.. whom I had gradually lost in the flux of time. I remembered everything… the small fights and quarrels, the pranks- on friends, teachers and all those who came by, the competitions- academic, curricular and extra curricular, the fests- house day, school day, sports day etc, the modest celebrations for Onam and Christmas, the treats for birthdays, the tensions of exams, the exultations and pain of results, the vacations, the rides in school bus, the thrill and anguish of being in love, the rules that were so tempting to be broken, the pangs of bidding adieu…. etc etc….

I sat beside the lovely girl and I felt as if I was back to the old halcyon school days. Such small instances can bring fond and warm memories of the bygone era. Though nostalgic, I felt so refreshed and happy too… inadvertently this little girl has made my day!!!!

My Alpine Dream

2009-11-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

It was one of the smallest mountains in the Eastern Alps. The ever stretching vegetation of oak trees and Scots pine was a treat to watch and it was like a dream come true for me. I had been traveling a lot and I wasn’t sure which country I was in… might be Switzerland or Austria. But I was feeling very much at home and I thanked my geography teacher for giving me such well-chiseled picture of these geographical areas that I never felt like in a unknown territory.

It was cold but dry and the gentle cold breeze flowing through the pine trees made a sweet whistle. I was on a special mission this time…. to take some candid shots of Alpine Apollo butterfly. Among the 20,000 species of butterflies inhabiting this vast earth…..I was wondering why I was attracted towards this particular creature. The reason might be my extreme liking for white colour or my liking for coddlers… like the spots that spoiled the purity of its wings.

I walked through the grove of pine trees to reach a small stretch of scrubland and was hoping for my catch there. These meadows were known to be the abode of such beautiful faunae. And as Google says “I’m feeling lucky” … I was also feeling lucky that day. A kaleidoscope of Appolo butterflies where fluttering on a tiny shrublet nearby. I had always kept the camera ready for any unforeseen action. I rested myself on the ground and adjusted my camera lens. And at that point of time my whole world was focussed on those tiny but beautiful creatures. The perfect frame was set and my brain initiated a signal to my index finger. I was about to click the best shot of my life…. but somebody shook me so hard that my camera slipped off from my hand. I was so furious and taken aback. I turned around to find out the culprit who spoiled my pricey shot. It was a very familiar face…….

“Get up!!! Today is Monday.You have to go to office today, right???” Amma shouted.

“You spoiled my precious shot… Amma” I complained. “And where is my camera??” I asked… still searching on the bed for my lost camera.

“What camera??? It might be in your cupboard” She said, hiding her shock.

“Get ready to go to office… you are already late” She continued and left my room.

I got up from my bed and stretched myself to get rid of the cramps. As I was about to get out of my room, I overheard the hushed voice of Amma… complaining to dad.

“He is very disturbed and has a lot of bad dreams these days. We should consult some astrologer and get a solution for this. I think its a very bad time for him…. Oh God….please take care of him!!!!!”

I retraced my steps and went back to bed wondering about the effect my “Alpine dream” had on my mom….!!!!!

Tomorrow is falser than the former day

2009-11-04T10:47:00.001-08:00

“When I consider life, ’tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled by hope, men favour the deceit; trust on, and think to-morrow will repay: to-morrow’s falser than the former day.” – John Dryden

Every bubble bursts

2009-11-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

Ritz Plaza

Room No: 263

I opened the teak finish wooden door of Room No: 263 and held it open for her to walk in. She softly brushed past my body and I slowly followed her in, locking the door from inside. The room was small but bore an expensive look with the white satin bed cover, matching pillow covers and embroidered curtains. As I walked in, I looked around the room. A wooden cot, a wardrobe with mirror, a coffee table and two chairs were the only furniture in the room.

“Worth Rs 1600“, I thought, recollecting the advance I payed to the fat feminine guy at the counter. I had thoughtfully ignored his inquiring glance when I signed the check-in register.

I stood at the doorway admiring the worthiness of the money I spent and completely forgetting the presence of another person in the room. She was comfortably seated on the bed with her hand resting on her bag. I looked at her and realized how beautiful she looked in the peacock blue salwar and light blue shawl. I remember the day when she wore it for the first time. It was on her 21st birthday and her father had gifted this dress to her. That was two years ago and she still looked the same- cute and beautiful. She is Sruthi, my landlord’s daughter.

I couldn’t believe that I was with Sruthi in a hotel room and that too in her home city. It was just one hour before when I got a call from her. I was in the office preparing for a client presentation. She said she wanted to spent some time with me in the evening and I readily obliged because she never had the habit of making such wishes. I made up some reasons and left the office to meet her. She was waiting for me at the bus stop near my office and in fifteen minutes I picked her up from there.

She was unusually silent when she sat next to me in the car. I asked her whether she had some plans for the evening. She shook her head and said that she had left her home in the afternoon saying that she was going back to her hostel. She was doing her Post Graduation in a college which was 100 Kms from here. Since it was already getting dark, there was no chance of her travelling 100 Kms at this time. That was it. She wanted to spend the night with me and I have to make arrangements now. I cannot take her to my place because I was living on the 1st floor of her own house.

Lesson: Don’t fall in love with your land lord’s daughter because you won’t have your own space to spent time with her. I always learn things in the hard way.

I had to find a place stay… a safe place to take her with me. I called a friend to ask his opinion and made up some stories saying that my friend and family are visiting the city and I have to arrange for their stay. He suggested to check in at Ritz Plaza which is beyond the city limits and on the way to the beach. I thanked him and thanked myself for calling the right guy.

It was drizzling as I drove in to the parking lot of Ritz Plaza. I went straight to the fat feminine guy at the counter and motioned Sruthi to occupy the vacant couch at the lobby. I paid the advance, signed the register and silently cursed the rules for making me enter my full name and address for checking in. The front office guy looked straight at my face as he gave the key to Room No: 263.

“Rahul, where are you?” Sruthi quizzed. I was awakened from my thoughts and Sruthi was standing near me.

“Oh yeah. I was just thinking” I answered.

“Thinking about what?” She asked.

“Why did you cancel your trip today?” I asked eventhough I knew what her answer was. But I wanted to hear from her.

“I wanted to spend some time with you and to talk to you” She answered.

“Ok. But why so urgent?” I enquired just to make her lose temper.

“Why? Did I disturb you?” She asked and made a face.

“No, No. But see where we ended up….. in a hotel room” I said mocking displeasure in my voice.

She remained silent.

We had our rare intimate moments together in her house when her parents were not around. I used to take leave from office on those days during her vacation when her parents were not in the house. So being together was not a new thing for us. But that was in the safety of her own house unlike this hotel room. And I need to confess that this was my first experience staying in a hotel with a girl.

My last question had an inverse effect on her and she remained silent for another couple of minutes. I went towards her and sat beside her on the bed. I put my hands around her and gently pulled her towards me. She rested her head on my shoulder as I kissed on her forehead. I looked at her and saw her eyes gleaming. Did I see a tear drop…???? No… I guess!

“Do you love me?” She asked.

“Yes my dear. I love you” I said and kissed her quivering lips.

She clung to me as we descended on the bed and made love.

It was after midnight when I came back to my senses. She was lying on my arms and I had a bad cramp due to her weight. I tried to pull my hand without disturbing her but in vain. My action woke her up and she crawled away from me. I got up from the bed and went to the bath room and had a warm shower. When I came back she was sitting on the bed crossed legged and motioned me to sit beside her. I obeyed her like a child. She pulled me towards her and I rested my head on her lap. She had done this before….. whenever she had to discuss something serious. So I was all ears for her.

“You know Vinod?” She asked.

“Who?” I enquired.

“Vinod….Sankar uncle’s son who is a Scientist in ISRO. You have seen him when they visited our home, right?” She asked.

“Yeah. Whats with Vinod?” I quizzed.

Silence followed. And after a couple of minutes she said

“My parents have fixed my marriage with Vinod”

“What?????” I sprang up from her lap and shouted. “You never told me….”

“I had told you that something is fishy…..when they came to visit us last week. It wasn’t a usual visit. I had smelled a rat and had informed you. After that visit my parents were explaining to me a lot about that guy as if I don’t know him. They even asked me whether I like him or not” She explained.

“And remember what you said….. you said that it was just my feeling and there was nothing wrong????” She continued.

“Yeah. But how did it all happen so suddenly?” I quizzed.

“My parents went to Sankar uncle’s place today morning and came back with this happy news” She said sarcastically.

“Vinod has to go for an official trip to Turkey and they wanted this marriage to happen before that” She continued.

I was hell shocked and was walking up and down in the room. I was devastated. I never knew I would have to face this so soon

“You want me to talk to your parents??” I asked.

“Its so late. My father have already given a word and he wont differ. Only way left is to elope with you. Which I cannot do since I don’t’ want to my parents to be unhappy and suffer because of me.” She said.

“What about me? What about our happiness? Will you be happy without me?” I shouted.

“You will forget me soon. Same might be the case with me as well” She said.

“But…” She cut me short.

“Anyway you never wanted any commitments, right? You always wanted to be a free bird and now why are you reacting like this?” She questioned.

“But I love you and I was feeling so complete with you……” I tried to explain.

“Lets not talk about it Rahul. Its Over and I wanted to let you know” She said.

There was a long stint of silence before I talked conveying a false sense of guilt.

“Why didn’t you tell me this when we met today? You should have told this when we came in to this hotel at least”

“No. I wanted you today and I realize that I wont have you anymore. I wanted all the happiness together and wanted you to experience that too. I wanted our relationship to be complete lest I regret in the future” She explained.

The conversation came to a dead end. There was no more questions and explanations. It was like everything came to a stand still.

I looked at my watch. It was 5:30 in the morning. I got up from the bed and dressed up and she followed. We vacated the room and got in to the car.

“Where should I drop you?” I asked.

“In the bus station. I am going back to college” She said.

I didn’t reply.

After a brief silence I asked “When is your wedding?”

“End of this month” She said.

So soon….. I thought. So these are the last few moments. In five minutes she will be on her way and I wont get another chance to call her back. I was feeling the pangs of losing my love. But my inner self was forcing me to remain silent and I obliged.

“Dad will personally invite you and you should be there to bless me” She laughed sardonically. But I ignored her sarcasm.

Soon we reached the bus stand and I stopped the car. As she got out of the car I asked

“Where is the venue of your marriage function?”

“Oh Sorry. I forgot to tell you. Its in the banquet hall of the same hotel Ritz plaza” She smiled and walked towards the bus station.

Insanity

2009-11-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

The midnight ride in Oscar’s car ‘Hyundai i20′ is a routine affair for me. We travel together after the graveyard shift and he drops me near my lodge which is 5 kilometers away from our office. These trips extend to the city bus station on weekends, from where I take a bus back to my home town. I have followed this modus operandi for more than a year.

It was another such usual trip during last weekend. Oscar was guiding the car down the empty four lane and Osbern was playing with the FM stations at the rate of one station per second. I was tired and sleepy and wanted to hit the bed as soon as possible. But the realization that it would take another 4 hours for my wish to be granted, increased my weariness. The comfortable air conditioning inside the car was forcing my eye lids to droop and I was slowly yielding to the “Korean” comforts.

I was suddenly woken up by a loud noise from the radio. Osbern had tuned the radio frequency to a no signal channel which caused the sudden commotion. I looked around. We had almost reached the city bus stand where I was bound to alight. Oscar halted the car near the bus station entry and I slowly and lazily climbed out of the car and from its comforts. I waved them good bye and walked towards the bus bay thinking about the long and tiresome journey back home. The Korean comfort and KSRTC comfort are two contrasting things that I usually experience in a short span of time. This forced me to make a futile decision to buy a Korean comfort or at least an Indian one…. a futile decision ofcourse…. and I make such decisions every
minute.

Since it was Diwali weekend the buses parked in the station were crowded with passengers heading to their home for this festival. During normal weekends, there will be hardly ten passengers in a fifty seater super fast bus and I usually get the liberty to choose the most comfortable seat among the vacant lot.

My limbs started aching and I searched for a bench to sit and relax till the arrival of the next bus to my destination. There was no vacant space left in any of the benches and I cursed my luck for this buggered night. At last I
decided to lean on a crumbled wall at a corner on the bus bay and I unburdened the growing heaviness from my shoulder and rested the bag on the floor.

And suddenly a strange thing caught my attention. About twenty meters away from me, a shabbily dressed man with long hair was making a loud speech. His countenance and the ruckus he created was a clear testimony of his mental condition. He appeared like a psycho from all angles. Since I had nothing to do but wait for the bus, I decided to heed an ear to this strange man’s speech. He was shouting aloud and that was slowly drawing everybody’s attention.

“I had three beautiful daughters….. its not anyone’s fault that all the three were brutally raped… they paid the price for being beautiful….. b*t*hes…..!!!!” and he laughed aloud.

“I am a Christian and I married her, who is from a lower caste, thinking that she will love me…. I fought with my parents just for her…… and one day she admitted that all the three daughters were not my kids….. and you know what…. I hacked her to death” He continued to laugh.

“You know why these people are attacked everywhere??” He shouted pointing at the ladies sitting in the waiting room. “Its because these b*t*hes are beautiful” and he laughed again.

Suddenly his topic changed. “Buses bound to Delhi and Bombay have just departed and all the f**k*rs who missed the bus have to stay back in Kochi till morning and have to listen to me“

Then again he went back to the old topic and repeated the same story. “I had three beautiful daughters…..“

He was slowly losing all his audience who were waiting for the rest of his story but they were putting on an act as if they were not interested. It took another half an hour for my bus to arrive and during this interval, he repeated the same story innumerable times without even a slight variation in his tone or his words.

I boarded the bus….. and was amused at myself and the whole bunch of people who were listening to this man…. Who is more insane?? The man or the set of people including me who listened to him…..??? Lunacy and insaneness needs to be defined here….

As the bus departed, I looked at him through the glass window…. he had a new lot of audience listening to him….!!!!!

Unconditional love

2009-11-04T10:43:00.001-08:00

    Your silent prayers
    and your love
    always reflects in me
    the joy of being alive.

    You loved and you lost
    but you never fell back
    still revives the warmth and
    the delight of being in love.

    Even in a puddle of grief
    you smile so heartily
    reminds me evermore
    the might of being angelic.

    Never to rue and regret
    you taught me so well
    and I cohere by your insights
    to learn the art of being you!!!!!

A Strange Message

2009-11-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

I was woken up by the techno beats of my new ring tone. With out opening my eyes I explored for the phone on my bed… got hold of it and attended the call.

“Hello”, I said somnolently.

“Hello” said a hushed voice on the other end.

“Can you be a bit more louder???” I asked.

But he kept his flaccid tone and I felt more irritated.
“You have just 60 minutes left to get up from your bed, dress up and be present at the meeting place” he articulated.

“What meeting place?” I shouted. “I don’t know you and I am not going to come anywhere!!!”

He laughed and said “You will come”

“I wont!!!” I exclaimed. “I have nothing to do with you. You can try this trick on somebody else.”

He kept his prevalent tone and said “It’s better for you that you believe me. I am not going to do you any harm. I want to help you”

“I don’t need anybody’s help and I am happy the way I am. I have a job, I have a happy family and many friends for company” “What else do I need. I am happy!!” I shouted.

He let out a mild sarcastic laugh and said “Are you??”

I was losing my patience.
“Yes I am” I iterated.

“You say that you have everything and you claim to be happy with the things you have… right?” he asked.

“I am not claiming. I am happy”, I said.

He sighed and said “So you are not unhappy about your boss… you are not unhappy about your job…. you are not unhappy about lack of money….. you are not unhappy about not giving your parents a better standard of living…. you are not unhappy about your health… you are not unhappy about love….. you are not unhappy about your inability to buy a new house or a car….”

“Stop it!!!”, I shouted.

“Why?? Am I wrong anywhere??” He laughed.

“You are……. not wrong!!! But you are not right either” I tried to hide the vexation in my voice.

“So you say that I am right in my discernment” He asked.

I didn’t answer. This guy was making me think. His assessment was more or less correct. No….. He was 100% correct. I just surfed through my memory lane to find that such infelicitous material things haunted me always. But I never wanted to admit.

“Why?? Am I right my boy???” He asked again.

“Yes, you are!!” I said with much hesitance.

“Good. Since you agree, just get up from your bed and start moving. Remember you have just 57 minutes left” He said in an affectionate tone and disconnected the call.

I woke up holding the phone in my hand and I realized that it was the snooze function of the alarm that woke me up. The alarm had sounded 3 minutes before and that was what I misunderstood as the incoming phone call. But the voice and the conversation were still dogging in my mind and I couldn’t believe that there was no such call.

I searched my call list and found that there were no incoming calls in the morning. But there was a memo on the phone’s desktop.

Memo:
Interview @ 9:00 am
Wake up… You lazy boy!
Love. :-)

Infact, I had planned to skip this interview merely out of laziness. I checked the time and was shocked to find that the time was 8:03 am…. exactly 57 minutes to the scheduled interview. And believe me……. I never kept such a memo!!!!!!

Look before you tweet

2009-10-02T06:11:00.001-07:00

I have started “tweeting” these days but I am not an ardent follower of this micro blogging engine- twitter. Might be because I find it very unwieldy to express myself in 140 characters. But I follow close to 300 people in this social networking champ. Some of them are my friends, some business related and some are eminent personalities and celebrities. One among them is Dr. Shashi Tharoor, Honourable Minister of State for External Affairs. I used to follow his tweets very closely and soon became a big fan of his short, sweet, meaningful and mirthful tweets. I was hopeful that at least through him the Indian politicians will learn to become more liberal and modern in their approach. But it was not so……

As expected in Indian politics, he soon ran in to troubled waters for his tweets. His tweet that he would travel “cattle class in solidarity with all our holy cows” which came in the backdrop of an austerity drive in the Government was hugely rebuked by the Congress party. The power greedy party leaders were trying all the tricks in the trade to throw Dr. Tharoor out of the Ministry. But some how he had a narrow escape this time….. might be because the Party President and the PM could understand the “wit in the tweet”. I think the tweet was just a humorous expression which meant no disrespect to anybody.

However, the comments in various online news sites were far beyond humour. Some comments from the readers of these news portals were urging and advocating to crucify Dr. Tharoor for his wit. Terrible I would say…. because I could not find another word to express my dissent against such ignorant people who tries to find fault with every other guy they meet.

Here I am biased in my thoughts… I like Dr. Tharoor, not as a congress leader but as a prolific author, a columnist and journalist, a humanitarian and human-rights advocate. I have read many of his books and I am a fan of his writing.

Now with this incident, Dr. Tharoor would have got a taste of Indian politics and hope that this won’t lock his key board and his activities. Expecting more of his services to our country and to its people…. and also more tweets as well!!!!!

The lesson learned here is “Look before you tweet!!!!!” for I fear that you will become a scape goat of power politics!!!!

ASEAN Treaty, Rum & The hanging

2009-10-02T06:10:00.001-07:00

On my way to office yesterday evening, I witnessed a freakish and bizarre incident. The effigy of our Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh, was being hanged by the left comrades in protest against the ASEAN Treaty (better known as “aasiyaan karaar” here). This was followed by a 2 wheeler procession with comrades carrying red flags and shouting slogans against the Government and ASEAN Treaty. Such processions and protests are a common sight in Kerala and I was least amused. But hanging the PM’s effigy is far beyond logic and is quite unpardonable. Dr. Singh is one of the widely accepted and popular leaders of all times. Moreover, he is a great academician and economist, a zealous leader, a thorough gentleman and the architect of reforms in India. He should at least be respected for all his virtues and merits rather than hanging him for a collective decision made by the Government.

I am not biased in my political stands but I could not help but show my dissent, at least through this forum, against such flagitious acts. It reminds me that anything is possible in a democracy. And mind you….. in God’s own country you can gather 50 people to protest or for support at any time, provided you offer them a bottle of “Javan” rum, a plate of chicken biriyani and Rs 100 in cash. The rum component of the wage not only justifies the ear shattering slogans but also all the heinous “hanging” acts!!!

Potency test

2009-09-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last week, I read an interesting article in an online news site about making potency test mandatory for couples. The news site was quoting Veteran Tamil actress Manorama's statement in this regard. She cited that potency test should be made mandatory for all couples before getting married and that medical certificates should be produced to prove it. This is applicable to both the sexes.

Such a rule will have pros and cons for sure. The potency test or fertility test done on women may lead to dire aftermaths like testing a woman's virginity and also testing her maturity to get married. But an HIV test prior to marriage should be welcomed with warm applause. I dont know whether such a rule is realizable at the present time or in the near future and also I am skeptical about the extend to which such a rule will prove to be useful. Moreover, like in every other practice in this country, this may also end up in issuance of bogus certificates by corrupt medical practitioners.

Anyway.... I wont be surprised to see some new key words adorning the matrimony columns in the near future......

Love is a mirror

2009-09-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

"When you fall in love, you fall for a mirror of your own most present needs" – Deepak Chopra

Onam Shopping

2009-09-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Onam- the harvest festival of Kerala is now in its full swing. Malayalees who take pride in their rich cultural heritage celebrate this festival with pomp and in full spirits. Its a vibrant festival of colours, joy and prosperity. Every malayalee makes grand arrangements to welcome the virtuous and legendary King Mahabali aka Maveli under whose reign Kerala witnessed its golden era.

Onam season is the peak time of consumer goods business in Kerala. Every manufacturer and retailer comes up with a variety of offers during this season. Right from vegetables to home appliances..... from cars and bikes to flats and apartments, every business tries all the tricks in the trade to woo the customer. In cochin, this onam season was marked by the offers made by two of the most popular retail brand shops for home appliances. The super star of this seson was LCD televisions. Both the shops advertised the price of 32" LCD TV to be starting from Rs 21K. This rekindled my desire (which I had rested long ago due to exorbitant prices) to buy an LCD television and surprise my parents when I get back home during Onam holidays. So I decided to visit both the shops to compare and buy the super star of this season.

In the first shop, I was welcomed by an corpulent guy dressed as the great Mahabali. His costumes and body shape were such that even the greatest enemy of Mahabali will drop his head in shame. As I was scorning at the looks of the caricature, the so called "traffic controller" of the shop gave me a cold look and he asked me to park my vehicle properly to avoid further hoo-hahs. Thats when I realized that I had blocked the way to the parking lot. It took me close to 20 minutes and 100% effort to find a place to park my vehicle.

I entered the huge showroom and was balled over by the size of the crowd which occupied every nook and corner of the huge floor. Before I could recover from my shock, I was brisked away by a sales person and he took me to the section where LCD TVs were displayed. He started giving me a lecture on the brands that were displayed on the stands. I asked him specifically for the brand that was available for 21K. But he continued with his script. Every 5 minutes I reminded him about the 21K product and he conveniently ignored my question by demoing the best TVs available. Soon I lost my temper and demanded him to show me the TV that was advertised. He tried to convince me that the particular TV does not have long life and that the sound quality is poor. I again demanded to see the model and when my pestering went beyond the limits he told me that the TV was out of stock. I asked him why it was advertised in that day's newspaper if there was no stock. He admitted that it was a trick to pull the crowd in. And at last I questioned him whether such a TV is available in the market at all. He smiled. That was it!!! I walked out of the showroom cursing myself for falling in for such advertisements!!!!

I never bothered to visit the other showroom at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And guess what..... I decided to watch all the Onam programmes on my old 21" CTV....!!!!!

Pic courtesy: Internet

Nin mukham..... oru orma kurippu

2009-08-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

A very old poem..... just a fond remembrance!!!!

Ennum ennum ente kinaavil
odi ethunnu nin mukham

thazhuki ozhuki aa thaazhvarayil
ninte maathram pon mukham

unarenda aa kinaavil ninnum enne
unarthalle madhura swapnathil ninnum

sundaramaam aa thaazhvarayil
ente nizhalaayi nee ninnu

sundariyaam nee enne
karavalayathil pothinju

ente praananaayi nee
aathmaavil kudiyirunnu

ennum ennum ente kinaavil
odi ethunnu nin mukham

thazhuki ozhuki aa thaazhvarayil
ninte maathram pon mukham...!

I'm in wordpress!!

2009-08-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody..... I have migrated to wordpress. Please visit www.euphonical.wordpress.com

Your support is always invaluable!!!!!!!

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence

2009-08-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

I work in a conventional Indian IT firm where strategies- sans logic- are born every other minute and real work flashes in a New York minute..... that too just occasionally!! Everyday I learn to leverage the available resources and strategize ways to generate the- so called- sustainable business.

My boss emphasizes the need to orient and align with the goals of the Organization and that each customer should be a qualified lead. Closings are always important but one should also keep in mind all those aspects and work towards building potential clients and relationships which can be leveraged to generate revenue opportunities and to meet our business objectives.

I wonder how many jargons and key words do I come across everyday. Some are repetitions, some are new and most modern, some are archaic and primitive. I wonder how I cope up with delivering all those elevated sales pitches that my boss insists. Sometimes hearing these jargons make me feel sick. Sometimes it makes me think. And sometimes I share it with my friends and laugh my lungs out or do it in the urban dictionary way..... "ROFLMAOSHISMP"*!!!!!!

I wonder why I am made to attend meetings with people who are paid twice and thrice my salary. In those sessions, I am impelled to answer all those questions, give explanations and feel the same pressure those guys go through. I am supposed to behave in a matured manner and am paid peanuts for going through all those blackjacks. For peanuts you will only get monkeys to work for you..... am I am one of those.....!!!! But I hate peanuts.... for sure!!!!

I think its time to "leverage" my "cutting edge" "core competencies" for "sustainable" and "exponential" gains to raise the crowd eye brows!!!!! :-)

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence!!!!!!

*ROFLMAOSHISMP- Rolling on floor laughing my ass off so hard I shit my pants!!!!

Blonde pole dancer

2009-07-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

“Smile - It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.”

My tryst with temptations

2009-07-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up today with a sprained neck that reduced my head movement to just 90 degrees. I opened the front door to find the newspaper drenched in the rain. The morning discomfort was aggravated when I realized that the newspaper boy have taken the authority to replace the newspaper with the one I hated the most. I put the newspaper aside and searched for a morning fag and was delighted to find a lonely one in a packet behind the book shelf. Little did I know that I lacked the most needed ammunition to light the above said loner. The search for the match box continued for close to 15 minutes. I tried every trick in the trade to arc fire from the grandfather lighters which were just the remnants of their past dutiful souls. At last..... I left the urge to rest!!!!!

I put on the sneakers and went out to the deserted road for the morning walk. The rain started abruptly nipping my errand in the bud itself. I ran back home cursing my luck for this stillborn morning. "You should not accept failure.." I reaffirmed myself. So i decided to beat the rain by having my morning walk on the verandah. I put on the earphones, clipped the phone to my pocket and started walking. The music from the FM radio added rhythm to my walk. The process lasted till the end of the fourth song and the pleasant sounding RJ predicted 3 more days of continuous rain....... I went in to my room and continued my daily rounds of aerobics...... please dont misunderstand me..... its not the aerobics that you guys know..... it was invented just by me for my own convenience..... that by doing so I wanted to comfort myself that I am bound for a weight loss. :-)

After half an hour of "My-aerobics", I decided that its time for a coffee. It was still raining heavily.... so I took out my umbrella (btw the umbrella was gift...ok... and no prizes for guessing who gifted it) and started walking. The sides of the highway was adorned with big and small colourful hoardings of Tata DOCOMO.. the freshest addition to the evergrowing telecom market....!!! I reached the bakery and pushed the button of the vending machine.... Before I could see the result of my physical energy on the electronic medium, the shop keeper suddenly announced the "absence" of coffee powder... So I had to suffice myself with the so called fresh tea that came straight from the hills of munnar.......!!!! The puffs that adorned the glass displays gave me a hard time... I couldnt just ignore the beauty that smiled at me unfurling her folds and showing a piece of egg adorned with spicy onion, through the tiny pore on her fold. I tried myself to turn my back to her..... but she was so seductive and at last I succumbed to my temptation.... no ..... to her beauty.....!!!!!

Will Power

2009-06-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

Lack of will power is the newest villain in my life. I never realised that I lacked such a great quality and second the fact that its indeed regretful to miss this virtue. Whatever it may sound like, I really need a backing to acquire this upstanding quality... sooner or it will be too late to repent!!!!

I am enjoying the newly found rhythm of climbing steps. Take one step at a time and it ties in to a fast paced music in your mind and body. Take two steps at a time... stretched ones..... you may gather more ground and distance but it relates to a melodious soothing euphony. But the rhythm and the beat changes when you descend. You tend to get delighted about the easiness of coming down and forget the rhythm and the music associated with the contrary. The melody is lost. Its common to mistake and map the easiness and delight to success until you find out the the comfort you enjoyed while descending have resulted in placing yourself at the bottom of the stack. Just take a glance at the top and you will realize that you will have to find a different rhythm, all over again, to climb back.... and that requires a lot of will power!!!!!!

Nowadays, I am getting exceedingly irritated. I have my hypertension to blame for my inordinate irritation. But that is quite unreasonable.... the effects of HT on your body is apprehensible but its effects on your mind and your thought process is unfathomable. It definitely have some known connection and I have no intention to explore more.

Let me get back to "will power" cultivation!!!!!!

Ramayana - Core Value Proposition

2009-06-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Ramayana - Core Value Proposition[gigya width="425" height="355" src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=ramayana-core-value-proposition-090607033823-phpapp01&stripped_title=ramayana-core-value-proposition-1544091" quality="high" flashvars="gig_lt=1246363367426&gig_pt=1246363473899&gig_g=1&gig_n=wordpress" wmode="tranparent" ]

View more documents from krishashok.

Courtesy: Kris Ashok for this brilliant presentation!!!!!

A conflicting hypothesis

2009-06-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

The red ornate meat at the left side of my body is pounding heavily. I could feel the throb and the tireless flow of hot fluid......... doctors term it as hypertension. Quite strange..... hypertension at this age... very uncommon!!!!!

I have felt this throbbing before, when I was with my love..... long back in school. That was a delight... a feeling of joy but now....this is disturbing.

Wish everything is back to normal and that the throbbing happens only for love and not by any somatic disorders!!!!!

It was raining

2009-06-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

It was raining.....

I waited for you and you never came

It was raining.....

I saw you in his arms and you tickled my bane

It was raining.....

I saw you with your child playing in the rain

It was raining.....

I saw you weeping at the end of the nuptial game

It was raining.....

You came to me and I was vexed about defame

It was raining.....

You talked to me but I was not the same

It was raining.....

You walked away and I lolled my head in shame

It was raining....

I cried and my tears were washed away by the rain

It was raining and its still raining!!!!

Social Networking for Enterprise - HR ConnectIn

2009-05-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

Social Networking for Enterprise - HR ConnectIn[gigya width="425" height="355" src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=connectinbusinesscase3hr-090526113642-phpapp01&stripped_title=social-networking-for-enterprise-hr-connectin" quality="high" flashvars="gig_lt=1243365164034&gig_pt=1243365203356&gig_g=1&gig_n=wordpress" wmode="tranparent" ]

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The Overclouded World

2009-05-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Jasna was not that pretty. She was dark and short. Clad in a pair of black jeans and a dark red top which made her more untempting. But she had an aura which no one could ignore. I first noted her when she came walking through the railway platform trying to balance a heavy travel bag on her shoulders. She came and stopped right near the bench (the only vacant one in the station) where I was comfortably seated and alighted the burden from her shoulders. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and adjusted her dress which was drenched with sweat. She took the far end of the bench and never noticed my stagging vision which was closely spying on her for the past couple of minutes.

She sat there with her eyes closed... Her face testified the weariness due to the heat and the weight she was carrying. I waited for a few more minutes and decided to make the move.... though a bit apprehensive.

Me: Which train???? Kpuram Passenger?

Awakened by my sudden query, she opened her eyes. Her face demoed all the vexation for disturbing her thoughts and solitude. She turned to me abruptly as if she was surprised to see that other people also existed in this universe.

J: (showing her displeasure and also her apprehension of talking to a stranger) Yeah.

Me: Going to Kpuram?

J: (still showing the same emotions on her face) No. Kakkad.

(Kakkad is second last station and Kpuram the terminus)

Me: Ok. I think the train will be pretty much crowded.

J: mmmmm (She stretched her limps, adjusted her position on the bench and again closed her eyes)

Considering the cold response I decided not to ask any more questions. I was getting bored and the announcement about the late running of the train added oil in to the fire. The heat was unbearable too. I opened my bag to search for the head phones. Music was the only solace for me now. As I was fishing my bag for the ear phones, she turned to me and asked.

J: Where are you going?

Me: Kpuram.

J: Ok. At what time will this train reach Kakkad?

Me: The right time is 11.30pm. Since the train is running late I think it will reach there past midnight.

J: Ok.

Me: Whats your name?

J: Jasna and yours?

Me: Ram

(Silence followed)

Me: Are you studying here or working?

J: Working

Me: Where?

J: I am an artist. I mean an actress.

Me: (Excited) Ok. Thats great. This is the first time I am talking to an actress.

J: I am just a struggling one. Have done quite a few albums and tele films.

And she went on to list a few. I have seen and heard a few of the albums that she mentioned but I have never noticed her. Anyway she was not the main character in any of those. But I decided not to ask any more details.

J: I came here for a shoot and now going back home. What are you doing? Working?

Me: Yeah. In an advertising and event management firm.

J: Ok. So you might have lot of contacts in the film industry. Right?

Me: No. I am doing back office work.

J: Ohh.. Ok.

J: Are you going home?

Me: Yeah. Its weekend right!

J: Yeah. Its good that you people work for 5 days and go back home during the weekend. We have no such holidays. We either have lots of work or no work at all. For us, there is no difference between a week day or a week end. (sighing)

Me: But you people make a lot of money and fame.

J: Money and fame!!!!! Phew..... Is it the only thing people need?

Me: It is usually for money and fame that people get in to this profession. Isn't it?

J: Not all. There is something called passion.... passion for acting...! But others who see it from outside think that its just for money, glamour and fame. You dont know how much we had to sacrifice to fulfill our dreams and to satisfy the passion.

Me: Yeah.... I have heard about the casting couch and stuff..... that people are exploiting the struggling actors, both physically and mentally.

J: Thats true.... We have to compromise on a lot of things.......

Suddenly her attention was diverted to a fat person dressed in white who was walking down the platform towards us. He had a thick mustache and grey hair. His neck, arms and fingers were prominently adorned with gold ornamnets. From the expressions on her face I could understand that the person was familiar to her. She smiled at him as he came towards us. She suddenly stood up and turned towards me.

J: Thats the producer of my new album. I think I have got work........ for tonight and the rest of the week. (Then she thrust a paper in to my hand) This is my contact number. Do call me if you have any work for me.....

With a wicked smile she turned towards the fat guy and walked away with him.

Before I could digest the happenings, the train slowly arrived at the station. I boarded the train still clutching the paper in my hand. My mind was fully occupied with the character I met at the station. I took a single seat near the window and unfurled the paper. I took out my phone and started dialing the number. But something deep inside me forced me to stop in between. I disconnected the call and deleted the number. With out a second thought I crushed the paper in my hand and threw it away.

I leaned back on my seat and scrolled through the phone book on my mobile until my eyes fell on the name of the most special person in my life- my better half.... my wife!!! Without any hesitation I dialed her number. I knew that she will be waiting for me back home............ always!!!!!

Optimistic Pessimism

2009-04-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

It was General elections today and this was the first time that my precious vote was not cast, ever since I turned 18. Do I miss the black ink mark on the index finger of my left hand? Yes, I guess.

It was a holiday today, but I preferred to work (or rather come to office) eyeing the compensatory off that is to be utilized next week for my cousin's wedding. I patted myself for not heeding to the innumerous phone calls from the 'machus' from my home town. Compensatory off and wedding were my trump cards against them....

Now its 12 midnight and just one more hour to go to hit the bed. Even after a myriad of phone calls and emails, I am left with no results. A bit tired and dispirited I decided to sit back and contemplate on the directions to strike gold. I tried to reassure myself that I am here to work hard and to bring home the bacon. Be smart..... I dictated myself.... but the journey has been so long and clumsy.... so cumbersome. What it emphatically incited in me is the uttermost minifying of self-assurance and self-confidence.

Tomorrow is yet another rosy day.... starting with the same old hopes......might as well end in abjection as always.....

Optimistic pessimism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The heat

2009-04-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

The scorching sun, the heat

and the biting wind

the charring skin, the pelt

my withering rind.

Pitted with nature's fury

feeling its utter wrath

Mightier than I could carry

cutting short my deader path.

Larn to exist in this wind

fore the final outcry

assay to gain before the end

is the moral of the story.

Living on the edge

2009-04-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

I cannot comprehend whatever is happening to me these days. A few months before I would not have imagined that I would get stuck in such complex situations. The emotional side of me is irrepressible and yearning for more....... But whatever it is and whatever is said and done, I enjoyed those moments and would never curtail the effluence. The streaming is gentle but uninterrupted and it is feeding the thirsty banks which were pining for a driblet of water.

My first instinct was to rue over it but now I thank myself because I at least have some pleasant befalling to bite on......and have something to think about and ruminate.... my mind is now surfeited...... and thankful for having such understanding souls around me to hold on to......

Dream Castles built on sand

2009-04-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today the sea was so agitated. The waves were rising high and smashing against the shore. Darkness was creeping in steadily and the sunset was sporadically veiled by the dark clouds. The beach was almost empty except for a few sea side vendors who were packing their goods and cursing the weather for marring their business. A couple of kids were busily building sand castles using the wet sand that was watered by the high waves. The Girl was standing at the far end of the beach watching the waves and mulling over the similarity between the both- the agitated sea and her demented mind.

She knew that this was the day. The day when all her dreams will be shattered. She stood there waiting for the Boy to come. He had called her earlier today and asked her to come to this place. He sounded so formal and she read the undercurrents in his words.

They used to meet at this place regularly but this was her first trip to the beach alone. Her mind was disturbed like never before. Her thoughts shifted from the agitated sea to her quondam meetings with the boy. She remembered how she used to lie on his shoulder, holding his hand and listening to all that he had to say. But now she felt so lonely and tried to divert her mind from those thoughts. But she failed miserably.....

She was so immersed in her thoughts that she did not realize the presence of the boy near her. He stood there with out disturbing her and thinking of his mission to meet her. He had come here to meet her for the last time and to bid good bye.

The strong western wind was erratically playing with her hair and the dupatta. He moved closer to her and combed her hair with his hand, lining it to the back of her ear. She was suddenly wakened from her disturbing thoughts and took a step back. There remained an uncomfortable silence in the air. She looked at him with obscured feelings waiting for him to start the conversation. It was a strange feeling since they have not remained silent like this......... not even once..... as far as she could remember. But now.... a word has become precious like an oasis in the desert.

The silence grew with the darkness and it had become unctuously unendurable. But she sincerely wished this to continue because this silence was less painful than parting.

But his mind was engrossed in different thoughts. He wanted to end this excruciating silence. He put his hands on her shoulder and whispered to her "Sorry dear..... Good bye!!!!". She felt as if she was struck by a bolt and stood there completely shocked and immoveable. Without waiting for a reply he walked past her. She stood there following his trail with her moist eyes. She wished that he will stop and will come running back to her. But he continued to walk.... without thinking of the meaningless words that he uttered. On his way, he deliberately stamped on the sand castle build by the kids, destroying it completely.... exactly the way he ruined her dream castle that was pillared with her love......!!!!!

Delicious ambiguity

2009-04-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next........ Delicious ambiguity"

Author: Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

Pic Courtesy: www.fridgedoor.com

Canary in a coal mine

2009-03-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

I decided to lock my key board when I realized that my pennings have started to hurt people. It was neither intentional nor a deliberate attempt designed to defame people. Nevertheless I would like to unfeignedly apologize even for the slightest smite caused to anybody who felt that I was trying to sabotage their good name...... and in turn their life!!!!! Let me shower my sincere gratitude to people who never tried to understand the gist of whatever was written in this space.

I tried to control myself from continuing with this blog, tried to kill it in its infancy but an inner voice, which was quite strange to me, asked me to flow on.... till it meets it death naturally...

But I am sensing an impending danger- a vague vision but it keeps on recurring. A venomous snake clinging to my toe slowly inflicting in me its deadly poison right from the extreme end. I feel like I am dethroned from my ingenious kingdom which never existed. The usurper is a stranger to my eyes but a very familiar being to my subconscious mind. The pallor starts disseminating slowly covering me in a pall of glumness. I feel its phantasmal presence all over. I feel that the terminus is near..... very near that I can extend my hand and touch..... a pinning cold aesthesis!!!!!!

The Silent Witness

2009-03-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

On a cold morning, 'Girl' wished to go for a long drive with 'Boy'. She liked such trips with boy and he had always obliged to her wishes. Their love had blossomed during such long drives. They always took the same road and that road was so special to both of them. There was a lone badam tree by the side of the road and Girl had developed some special attachment to the tree. She used to keep gazing at the tree when ever they passed by. That day she felt so special and remained silent during their drive down the deserted road.

Boy: (on a sleepy mode) What happened dear? Why are you so silent?
Girl: (turned towards him but remained silent)
Boy: (smiling) I think you had a bad night's sleep yesterday.... Were you dreaming about me??? he he!!
Girl: (still remained silent but smiled)

The badam tree was in sight at a distance and she kept her eyes on that. Boy looked at her and followed her gaze to the tree.

Girl: (keeping her eyes on the tree and like waking up from a dream) Have you ever noted that tree dear?
Boy: (as if he haven't seen that tree at all) Which tree?
Girl: Nothing
Boy: Oh... ok... that badam.... yeah... i have seen it. why? Whats it with the tree?
Girl: (remained silent)

She was in a dream land. She dreamt that they were standing below the tree holding each other on a tight hug. She felt as if she was on top of the world when she cuddled in his arms in this cold morning. Suddenly her dream was broken when the car came to a sudden halt. She opened her eyes and saw that boy had stopped the car right near the badam tree. Boy jumped out of the car and came to her side. He gently pulled her out of the car and led her to the tree. The cold morning breeze danced through her hair and made her more beautiful. He pulled her towards him and hugged her the way she wished. She forgot the surroundings and settled in his arms not letting this moment to slip away. She was so happy.... so contented..... she looked in his eyes with unexplainable emotions and kissed him. That was the best moment in their lifes.

The badam tree looked at them happily and wished them the best.

She held his hand tightly on their way back home. She was so surprised how her wish was granted. When she got down at her home, she went to him and whispered..... "I love you"!!!!!!!!

Years later, the boy was driving down the same road with his wife. He saw the same badam tree but now with the company of some bushes that sprouted out after the rain. The sight of the tree brought in him flashes of memories of his past. He looked at his wife. She was sleeping after the long and bitter argument they had previous night. He brought the car to a halt near the tree. His wife woke up and stared at him. He asked her to get down and she obeyed but with some dubiety. Soon as she reached under the shades of the tree, he pulled her towards him and hugged her. She was shocked and pushed him away angrily.

Wife: (shouting angrily) What the hell are doing? Are you mad?
Boy: (remained silent but staring straight at her)
Wife: You think that you are still a teenager. But you are not. This is a public place man and what an ambience to show love.... uhh!!!!!!!
(And she quickly got back in to the car)

Leaning on the tree he stood there for some time. Drained of all thoughts he got back in to the car and turned on the ignition. He gently looked at the tree and with a vacuous mind he drove away....!!!

The tree stood there with teary eyes and waved him good bye.... and waited for another spring to come driving by.......!!!!!

Doctored relationships

2009-03-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

What does relationship mean?? It is a state of connectedness between people especially an emotional connection. Being a social animal, we all have relationships. But to what extend are we emotionally involved.... say in a friendly relationship, in a love relationship, or in parental relationship etc.....? The point to ponder is the word "emotional".

We all use the word "affair" to depict a "love affair". The actual meaning of affair is- an intense amorous relationship, usually of short duration- A romantic and sexual relationship between two people who are not married to each other. But we all proclaim that somebody or even ourselves is having an affair. Do we really mean it that way? Or is it just that we are following the language that we are used to.

But in the recent times, relationships especially friendship and love have taken a slue towards the right meaning of the term "affair"....not to mention the emotional quotient. Relationships have been manipulated and doctored in all possible ways. Even a ten year old have started approaching the opposite sex just for the "affair" factor. Just imagine the plight of things when he/she grows up.

Lets not act as if we are not prone to it. It definitely includes you and me and it emphatically affects us. It definitely requires our sincere effort and ageless struggle towards building a better place to live.

Lets pray for a better place to live..... a place where each of us are emotionally attached to each other... Lets pray that we are filled and repleted with moral values and flavours of unfeigned love and care...... Lets pray........ !!!

I want to take you home

2009-03-06T16:40:00.000-08:00

I open my window to see the "Kani Konna" with full of yellow flowers portraying nature in its full feel. The earth beneath is a canvas of fresh yellow. I leave all the lickings behind and I even forget the rising temperature. All I feel is just the caressing warmth of the beautiful nature.

A breeze came dancing in through the wooden frame fondling me gently, brushing my cares away. The soft melody that is circling in the background makes my day even more splendiferous. If you ask me for a single reason to live, I will say with out a second thought that I wish to live just to stand by my window enjoying this exquisite feeling forever.

I wish all my dear friends were here with me to enjoy this beauteous day. I wish "you" were here with me too. You know how much I wanted to take you home to stand beside me near the window, hand in hand, to enjoy this resplendent moment..... together!!!!!!

Rahmaniac......

2009-02-26T10:16:00.000-08:00

"The picture says it all...... what a proud moment for all his fans...... the Mozart of Madras with his divine music has enthralled all.......

Yet another golden feather to the "already crowded" cap of this humble human being...!!!! Let this music go on forever........!!!!!!!"

Pic courtesy: Associated Press

yokefellows

2009-02-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

Life...... gimme more!!!!!

2009-02-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

The title seems like an avaricious goof's lament. But please don't be prejudiced... I am not one of those goofs who make a hue and cry that nothing is enough. I do realize that everybody desires more out of life and is not allayed with whatever they have..... and you may term me as one of them. But let me explain.....

It has been almost 4 years since I have become stagnant, both professionally and personally. Looking out for a new job or a new relationship gives me absolute creeps!!! I am afraid of things going wrong.... afraid of taking the turns.... afraid of meeting with failure.... and i know all these are common aches.... yet when it comes to self, its disgusting.

In a job, what would you feel if your are asked to report vertically, horizontally and diagonally??? Would you sense a role conflict?? Would you feel that the enjoyment is being tweeted out of your work??? How would you feel if you are over-supervised and duties are not delegated in the way it should be??? Its inviolable pandemonium!!!! And I am virtually in the heart of this bedlam.

I have been trying to change myself to fit to the environment. Trying to see the virtuous side of it with out complaining. But now it has come to an impasse... I want things to change.... I want things to be different...... I am ready to fight for a brand new beginning... ready to sacrifice... ready to forfeit all those comforts and comfort zones..... and in reciprocation I want life to give me more!!!!!!

Half measures

2008-12-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

"She taught me to laugh,

to be kind yet tough,

and that half measures

are never enough"

-To my mother by Leonard Wise

Faded destination

2008-12-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

Its very dingy and depressing to be unsuccessful. Its even more sore to realize our abominable workmanship. The craft of being successful has become a faded illusion to me. Now standing at the brink of a passing year, nothing is left in it for me to rejoice..... let alone survive!!!!!

Now I am ignorant of directions and I dont see any roads leading me to my destination.... I am wonderstruck since I dont actualize any destination at all....!!!!!!

Identify the 'real dogs'!!!!!

2008-12-02T10:58:00.000-08:00

I was taken aback by the comment passed by the Chief Minister of the most literate state in India about the martyrdom of Sandeep Unnikrishnan. He stated that if it was not for Sandeep not even a dog would have turned towards them. He neither showed due respect to the patriot who laid his life for the country nor did he seem to be politically and diplomatically correct. In a country were diplomacy is always given a chance even when the heart has been shelled in to pieces, this should not have been a surprise to anybody.

We shed a part of our income to pay these public servants who has no control not even on their tongue. Lets take an example...... we have a maid servant at home and we pay her to do her job in the most appropriate manner. If she fails continuously to do her duties, what would be our reaction???? Will we keep her forever or we replace her with another one???? But in our democratic set up, we have to wait for 5 long years to show our reaction or objection to these hare brained and insane individuals.

I wonder where Mr. Maratha- jai Maharashtra- Raj Thackerey was when Mumbai was quivering in the terror attacks. It seems that his policy was not to allow any non maratha to live in Mumbai and it doesn't pertain to non Indians at all. Terrorists are most welcome. Very amusing policy indeed!!!! Mr. Maratha should realize that those brave Indian Commandos who lost their lifes to liberate the city were not marathas alone but were from different parts of India. Its time for Mr. Maratha to agnize that attacking the innocent people who come to Mumbai to earn their livelihood is not the right way to define bravery. If he really loves his birth place, then take action to restrict the entry of foreign terrorists who spits fireballs on the heart of the Motherland.

I know that nothing is going to change. Diplomacy will be given yet another chance. And all those "enlightened" rulers of the country will try to remain politically correct sacrificing the beautiful face of our Motherland.

Anomalous manipulation

2008-12-01T14:25:00.000-08:00

How many of you beleive that cats are reincarnation of bad spirits??? How many of you consider the wild but domesticated creature as bad omen? Do you cancel your errands if a cat happens to cross your way? If your answer is a confused "yes", then please explain to me the logic behind your belief......

Recently, while driving my car down an empty road, I hit a cat accidently. It was late in the night... so I thought it was better not to stop the car to see the poor creature's plight. My cousin who was with me explained this incident to his old grand mother. She proclaimed that the cat we hit is a "rakshas"- a malyalam word for an evil spirit. And she asked him to be more careful..... because rakshas will avenge the cruelty eventhough it was an accident.......!!!!!

I was trying to guess the logic behind this..... I hate these superstitions which are quite irrational that bob up just because of fear and ignorance...... and people manipulate it according to their whims and fancies...... and makes these beliefs anomalous and extensively marked by incongruity!!!!!!

Punjab da sher

2008-11-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

[caption id="attachment_152" align="alignnone" width="470" caption="nandu my nephew"][/caption]

Sher-e-Punjab: Nandu ready for a costume party on Grand Parents day

My Web 2.0 odyssey

2008-11-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

I am a fervid user of social networking sites and blogs. Little did I realize that I am due to sell this technology to corporates in a country hit drastically by the economic disaster or “slow down”- just to go by the common term. Never in my wildest imagination did I ideate that Orkut, Facebook and YouTube had so much to do with collaborative computing and web 2.0.

Nowadays, whenever I log in to any of these sites, I fail to see the beauty and utility of these applications….. I forget to realize the essence and gist of these tools…. what curbs my mind is collaboration, content-syndication, messaging-protocols, plugins, widgets etc which broadly comes under the term coined by Tim O’Reilly as Web 2.0.

Now I realize that the beauty of anything and everything will be at sea when we understand what it is made of….. whether it is technical applications or human beings… the less we know, the more we like it…. and familiarity indeed breeds contempt……

Quitting vagabondage

2008-11-18T17:51:00.000-08:00

It has been more than a month since I wrote something here. Was a bit busy with work and the time in office was a hectic caboodle of chafes. A whole lot of assignments and a new but tight schedule as well. The clocks were adjusted to account for the daylight savings time and that entailed that my sleep will be delayed for an hour more.

The pilgrimage season has begun and I am on a fasting fling. That implicated a strict shift in my zoophagous food habits and strict abstinence from any form of flirting (mental & physical), insobrieties and tipsinesses. The facial growth is getting denser with every passing day and hopefully I am bound for a weight loss too. The purity of mind and body are basal requisites during this period of austerity..... and that is an acclivitous task.........!!!!! I am tripping and falling.... straining to get up again and to be on course...... believing that I could elapse through the whole episode, perhaps with a bit of pain...... and ofcourse with His blessings...!!!!!!!!!

My Favorite Quotes From The Book Eleven Minutes By Paulo Coelho

2008-11-06T15:58:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Quotes From The Book Eleven Minutes By Paulo Coelho

"At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss."

"While she was waiting for her Prince Charming to appear, all she could do was dream."

"She had to content herself with loving and suffering in silence until the end."

"When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds."

"...but something always went wrong, and the relationship would end precisely at the moment when she was sure that this was the person with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life. After a long time, she came to the conclusion that men brought only pain, frustration, suffering and a sense of time dragging."

"I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life."

"(Don't) listen to the malicious comments of those friends who, never taking any risks themselves, can only see other people's failures."

"If I can walk on my own, I can go wherever I like."

"Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."

"Despite her apparent freedom, her life consisted of endless hours spent waiting for a miracle, for true love, for an adventure with the same romantic ending she had seen in films and read about in books. A writer once said that it is not time that changes a man, nor knowledge; the only thing that can change someone's mind is love. What nonsense! The person who wrote that clearly knew only one side of the coin. Love was undoubtedly one of the things capable of changing a person's whole life, from one moment to the next. But there was the other side of the coin, the second thing that could make a human being take a totally different course from the one he or she had planned; and that was called despair. Yes, perhaps love really could transform someone, but despair did the job more quickly."

"Beauty changes as swiftly as the wind."

"Humans can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."

"In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel."

"As if everything had been ordained by fate, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if she had known this man all her life or had already lived this moment in dreams and now knew what to do in reality..."

"That's my one great virtue: I refuse to deceive myself of you. Because it's not worth it, because you don't merit a lie."

"If he was the man she wanted him to be, he would not be intimidated by her silence."

"Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle."

"...but he should understand my insecurities, because I'm a woman, I'm fragile, and when I'm in that place, I'm a different person."

"Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."

"I've learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you're with me, even when you're not by my side."

"Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. >From that point onwards, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before--the attraction that brought them together--is impossible to explain. It is untouched desire in its purest state. When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing. When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. They know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second."

"Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free."

"And that was now her great joy: to say to reality that she didn't need it, that she was not longer dependent on what happened in order to be happy."

"Now she was searching once more for her reason for living, or, rather, for the kind of utter surrender by which a person offers his or her heart and asks for nothing in return."

"Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn't sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim."

"Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they're not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or--such is the pleasure they experience--they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them."

"Every human being experiences his or her own desire; it is part of our personal treasure and, although, as an emotion, it can drive people away, generally speaking, it brings those who are important to us closer. It is an emotion chosen by my soul, and it is so intense that it can infect everything and everyone around me. Each day I choose the truth by which I try to live. I try to be practical, efficient, professional. But I would like to be able always to choose desire as my compassion. Not out of obligation, not to lesson my loneliness, but because it is good. Yes, very good."

"The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility. Anyway, if my love is real (and not just a way of distracting myself, deceiving myself, and passing the time that never seems to pass in this city), freedom will conquer jealousy and any pain it causes me, since pain is also part of the natural process. Anyone who practices sport know of this: if you want to achieve your objectives, you have to be prepared for a daily dose of pain or discomfort. At first, it's unpleasant and de motivating, but in time you'll come to realize that it's part of the process of feeling good, and the moment arrives when, if you don't feel pain, you have a sense that the exercises aren't having the desired effect."

"If you love another person, you don't depend on the sex act in order to feel good."

"The world enjoys suffering and pain. There's sadism in the way we look at these things, and masochism in our conclusion that we don't need to know all this in order to be happy, and yet we watch other people's tragedies and sometimes suffer along with them."

"As I say, it's the human condition. Ever since we were expelled from paradise, we have either been suffering, making other people suffer or watching the suffering of others. It's beyond our control."

"Why was it that in God's holy world men were only interested in showing her pain. Sacred pain, pain with pleasure, pain with explanations or without, but always pain, pain, pain..."

"'I felt that pain is a woman's friend.' 'That is the danger.' 'I also felt that pain has it's limits.' 'That is the salvation. Don't forget that.'"

"That's why I'm telling you: don't get used to it, because it's very easy to become habituated; it's a very powerful drug. It's in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but it's seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self-denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it, we human being always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives."

"Pain and suffering are used to justify the only thing that should bring only joy: love."

"I need to love--that's all, I need to love. Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly."

"Original sin was not the apple that Eve ate, it was her belief that Adam needed to share precisely the thing she had tasted. Eve was afraid to follow her path without someone to help her, and so she wanted to share what she was feeling. Certain things cannot be shared. Nor can we be afraid of the oceans into which we plunge of our own free will; fear cramps everyone's style. Man goes through hell in order to understand this. Love one another, but let's not try to possess one another."

"Always making plans for the future, and always being surprised by the present."

"In all the languages in the world, there is the same proverb: 'What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.' Well, I say that there isn't an ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings that we try to repress and forget. If we're in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we're far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them."

"The only thing she could do now was to shed a few tears, feeling rather afraid of herself, an intelligent young woman, who had everything going for her, but who tended to make wrong decisions. She just hoped that this time she was right."

"She made this promise because she knew love's traps all too well, and knew how easily they can change a woman's mind."

A blithe theory

2008-10-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

Being a man, I envy women for a whole lot of things. A man can never ever enjoy the pleasure of breast feeding nor could he experience the feeling of carrying a life inside his body. I asked quite a few mothers what they felt when they breast feed their babies. But none could give me a pleasing account on their experience.

One of my friends, ofcourse a man, explained to me an amusing theory on this topic. According to his school of thought, those baby boys who bite their mamma's nipples while breast feeding will grow up to become heterosexual men and the others become gays..... that was quite funny indeed. I wonder what might be the case with baby girls...... :-)

What a way to explain sexual orientation!!!!!!

Today.........

2008-09-28T03:18:00.000-07:00

Today..............

Today... I feel like my hands are empty and my heart is vacuous ...... but if I assay to drop a word, I know it will spill over......... Its time for self discovery... not for self amelioration or self improvement.... because without discovering the lost self it would be inconceivable to improve......

I am trying to tune in to the music that my heart ineluctably needs.... but the chords are so wispy and obscure that I cant make out even a single note.... I want to accede in to a trance.... even that is unattainable.....

I am sacking the thoughts right here for the fear that it would bubble over.........!!!!

but "today"............. I wish....

Paulo Coelho: Post cards

2008-09-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

[gallery]

Music in the Womb

2008-09-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

This is my 38th week in my mother's womb. I am too excited to see the outer world... to experience the first breath....to feel the fresh air..... to see the world around....

Mom is also excited but she is frightened too....a typical delirium... she says that I have started moving tempestuously..... she can feel my hiccups too.... I am practicing breathing and blinking ;-)

My organs are fully developed now and the skin has started turning pink. My toenails and fingernails have grown to the tips of toes and fingers and my muscles are getting stronger too... Mom is feeling extremely uncomfortable and clumsier and is hurriedly packing her bags for the week long hospital detainment....

I am getting ready too... preparing to bid adieu to my 38 week old shelter... to become free from the armour.... but suddenly something started perturbing me.... i am going to miss this place.... I am going to miss the warmth of this adorable abode.... I am going to miss the lovely music vibrating inside.....reverberated by mom's unending love for the unseen piece of her own bod.....

I want to cry out aloud.... begging her to keep me inside.... to bask in the warmth of her womb and to relish the aeonian music......

Nice quotes

2008-09-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.”

“And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.”

by Colin Raye

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

by Theodore Isaac Rubin

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.”

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

Nine minutes

2008-09-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

I felt like in heaven, when you were near me,
your hand over mine and legs across mine....
I took you in my arms and you never said no,
you gave me your lips and I kissed it with love....
I held your hips and pulled you towards me,
I felt your heart beats beating against mine,
I felt the warmth of your breath and
your breast never tried to be free from me....
The taste of your ears became mine,
your hair tangled with my beard and chest....
and it seemed you were counting my heart beats....
It was not long when that moment came,
with a heavenly jerk I was deep inside you......
measuring the unfathomable depth of your juciy inside..
and before I could say I love you,
it was all over and I was resting
on your beautiful self
counting your innumerable sighs........!!!!!!

Love

2008-09-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

Word

2008-09-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

As we grow up

2008-09-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through some of the e-cards in the net and I bumped upon this one.....It was a colourful card with lots of floral designs. But it was the words that struck a chord somewhere in my mind.... Here it is... just for you........enjoy!!!!

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person who wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin....."

A simple story

2008-08-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

There is lot to it than you merely see,
may be I am awry the way I foresee..
dwelling in the past I seemed to be done,
but today I opine, it was all fun..

Years have gone by, dallying around,
now its time to amass my ground..
hatful to learn, a lot to acquire,
to draw the advent days more insure..

The story is simple, the story is bare,
it all reckons on how we fare..
enounce a decree, one of our own,
and relish our life, sans fawn..!!!

Packets of love .. sent from Above

2008-08-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

I was born in a middle class family. Both my parents were government employees and being the youngest child of the family I grew up as a spoiled brat. I was sent to the best school in the locality though it burnt my dad's pocket to a great extent. But he was so keen that I get the best education available. Though late, most of my wishes were granted and I was brought up in the best possible way.

My childhood days were mostly spent with my mother and my elder sister. Dad, being an Army Officer, was posted in different regions of this vast country and he used to come home on a one month vacation, once every year. I dont know whether I enjoyed his presence during those visits except for the gifts that he used to bring (once he even gifted me a Nike sports shoe which I used to wear with pride because it was a rare thing in my locality). I was always worried about his yearly visits because I thought it as a threat to my freedom. It was during the early years of my teenage that he retired from service and came home permanently and I presumed it as the end of my independence.

Dad and mom tried to groom me as a responsible and independent individual. I was asked to travel alone to different places so that I will learn from my experiences, solve problems on my own and be successful with out much help. I adhered to their policies till I finished my schooling and left for higher studies.

During my fortnightly visits, I started acting like a guest in my own home. I started to shy away from responsibilities and my interaction with my parents started decreasing. The time at home was spent either watching TV or browsing the net. They complained but I turned a deaf ear to their cries. Later on when I got a job and shifted to cochin, the same scenario continued. I wished to be the way they wanted me to be but I always failed to live up to their expectations.

Now at 26, my mindset has completely undergone a transformation..... I sincerely want to live for them. I want to give them all the happiness in the world. I realize that with out them it would be very hard for me to exist. I am afraid to think about a time when they are no longer there and I am alone......

One day when I woke up, I saw my dad standing inside my room. He was opening my cupboard and keeping something inside. I got annoyed and my first instinct was to shout at him. But I cut short my temper and gently asked him what he was up to. He said that he has kept his insurance papers inside my cupboard and that I may never know when it may come handy. Without much explanation, he walked out of my room and the salty liquid blinded my vision..........

I wish I could start my life all over again..... just to love them to the fullest and to make them happy just the way they fulfilled my life..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me explain.....

2008-08-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

I met with thorough criticism from my friends, who are regular readers of my blog, that I always limn the darker and dourer side of life....that I always dealt with lost emotions, love, death, pain, bawlings, wounds and so on and so forth..... but I would like to pledge that this was not deliberate....its just the ruminations on the past commingled with downright imagination... and the later forms the bulk part.........

Let me try to pen down some positive mentations and some happy musings which will depict me as a cocksure material.....

But I still dont know why...... when I put the pen on paper it always turns out to be my "wounded whisperings"

Angel of my dreams

2008-08-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

This is an impressive poem. I liked the lines so much that I thought of sharing it with you......

Angel of my dreams

Krishna Kumar

Once I had a dream, and an angel came through
All I could see, appeared so real, so true
She held my hands and took me around
I was lost, I was bound

I could feel her and so could I touch
She made me feel so good, so could she comfort
Holding hands on the beach
Talking under the moon whole night
Kissing and holding each other tight

Her voice would mesmerize
her words would summarize
the world of love, the horizon of togetherness
and I thought, this world would never capsize

Then there was a jolt and I woke up
I stretched my hands, searched and tried
she was not there and I was alone
gone was the dream and so was she

I could not accept I could not realize
She was gone and so was the dream
I cried and so did I scream
I wanted her, I wanted the dream
But thats not the fate, thats not destiny

For no matter the distance
Or the obstacles for instance
I will always belong to her
For we are meant for each other
not in reality, but at least in our Dreams

Then I think this is not the last time I am sleeping
This is not the last time I am dreaming
I will still sleep, I will still dream
I will still love, I will still gleam
No matter I loose, No matter I gain
I want to sleep & want to dream again

Thank you

2008-08-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

It was another black eyed day.... a bad ending of a beautiful fairy tale.... and the prince and the princess got separated and they never lived together happily thereafter......

It had just a bubble's life.... but in the short span it taught me to be simple, loving, caring, dewy-eyed and credulous (positively).....

Thank you for the 90 days of happiness...... and you made me a better human being.....!!!!!

Paulo Coelho

2008-08-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

"whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth." ...."And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to acheive it."

Paulo Coelho

"mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d]"

2008-08-08T07:40:00.000-07:00

Weekend is here..... I am in a festive mood... time to get back home after an irksome week....

The most important programme during my usual weekend is the Mavelikara* Ravivaar Durbaar. It started as a gathering of friends on a Sunday evening and then got extended to Saturday evenings as well. Now we call it "Durbaar" instead of "Ravivaar Durbaar". The below passage will give you a detailed explanation about our Durbaar.
"mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d] is a coLLaboration of paLs who've grown up together, studied 2gether, Lived 2gether, Loved together & even had their 1st peg 'n puff together!

Itz a Weekend Fiesta ceLebrated with aLL its vigour & pomp & ecstasy! Friends meet over a bottLe of beer or 2 & share their experiences, sing an oLd nostaLgic song; once sung by/to their loved one, discuss trivias, probLems, movies, Love, marriage, sex, music, profession, dreams, aspirations, family & anything & everything under the sun!

We dedicate this community to aLL those who made our lives miserabLe, who broke our hearts, who turned a deaf ear to our laments & who pLayed with our seLf respects...We wish them aLL success & luck in their future endeavours & let 'em know that even when our life's a heLL & whatever bad happens durbarians wiLL be together.... 4ever!

Remember... Shit Happens! But the butt cheeks get closer after all that!

Love Live mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar!"

Now, let me introduce you to the members of the durbaar:

The Cast:

Anish Nambothil: My childhood friend born juz ten days after me.... a tall libran and a hard core Mammootty fan (well...in this case he is the odd one out in the durbaar). His favourite food is "karikku" (tender coconut), omlette and idli. Working as Channel Sales Manager for Idea in Kollam District.

Aakaash Nair aka Vishnu: My school mate and a very good friend. He stands out in any crowd bcoz of his long hair and pony tail. A creative being, struggling to make his mark in the film industry. A good writer and a visualizer and we all are looking forward for his success in the unpredictable industry.

Manish Pillai aka Tittu: My nephew (rather a bro) and a new found friend. He was the biggest discovery for me in my family. Born and brought up in Mumbai but settled in Cochin due to "personal" reasons. He is my partner in crime. Working as Operations Manager, ICICI Lombard, Cochin.

Adv. Rajesh Kaimal: My neighbour, elder brother, friend and a supporting hand. An Advocate by profession,but working in Bajaj Alliance, Thiruvananthapuram. He is a joy to be with and his situational comedies invokes comic currents in the Durbaar. His family consists of his wife, Aathira chechi and their naughty twins- Bhadra and Rishi, who are celebrating their first birthday this month.

Jayakrishna aka Jithin: He is Anish's cousin brother,my neighbour and friend too. He has just finished his graduation and currently doing Cisco networking certifications. Youngest in the group but never short of words. Ready to do anything at the word go. He is the opening pace bowler in our local cricket team.

Anish Krishnan: He is Anish Nambothil's class mate and a good friend of mine. He is a chatter box and likes to talk about anything and everything under the sky....and he has got the knowledge too. He is working in a software firm in Cochin.

Guest Appearances:

Dr. Kurian Ninan: My schoool mate and a good friend. He is a Doctor by profession and currently in Mangalore doing his PG. He is no longer single... got engaged very recently.

Arvind: My neighbour and team mate in our local cricket team. Currently in Bangalore giving final touches to his MBA.

Vineeth Unnithan: A friend of mine and a pinch hitter in our cricket team. A hard core Lalettan fan and does not miss to watch the first show of any of his movies. Currently in the process of clearing his MBA exams.

Arun aka Jayan aka haskey: A childhood friend and a neighbour too. He is a master of all trades. A hard core computer professional and a kind hearted business man (an extinct species nowadays). Polite and always to the point. A peerless addition to the durbaar.

George Thomas: Mumbai ka daan...... he is my school mate and a good friend. Now in mumbai hopping jobs every now and then. He is a marketing professional in the hotel industry.

Gokul Pillai aka Sankaran: He is Manish's younger bro and my nephew. Makes yearly visits to Kerala and takes part in the Durbaar. Working in Deutsche bank, Mumbai.

Krishna Kumar Varrier aka Kris aka KK: My colleague and a very good friend. He has been to Durbaar on one of his visits to my home. He is an encyclopedia of Hindi songs and emotes those songs really well. He is working as Asst Manager (HR) in Assyst International, Cochin.

Supporting cast:

Santhosh: An elephant fanatic and the all in all of Kottakkal Arya Vaidya sala, Mavelikara.

Sathish Nambothil aka Kochumon: Anish's elder brother and a friend of mine. He runs his own paper mart and book store in Mavelikara.

Monayi: He is a chatterbox and adds masala to the topics that he usually takes up. Now in UAE.

Director:

Sandpiper

Associate Directors:

Wills Navy Cut, Gold Flake, Kings

Assistant Directors:

Kurkure, Lays, Idli and scrambbled egg from "swayambhu" thattu kada, opener, lighter and match box

Location:

Terrace of DB building overlooking KSRTC bus stand and the pond '"Valiya kulam" that has some historical importance.

Time for me to go......... all you guys are most welcome to the Durbaar.....

Cheers...........!!!!!!

Marooned........

2008-08-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

I am marooned in an 80 sq ft room with a cell phone and a galore of books. The contradiction in my statement is intentional...marooned with a cell phone!!!!! But its true. Though the cell phone connects me to the external seasoned world........there lies no help...no aid at all!!!!! I used to shout my throat out..... I waited for a silver lining.... a slimmer of hope...a heeding ear...a helping hand.... but in vain!!!! Indeed a belie........!!!!!

The books colligates me to the virtual world... a castle made of dreams.....but so untrue. I am fed up of dreaming....I am sick of believing that these lifeless creatures will evince me how to live a better life.....

I know that on the far side of the door, there is light... there is a Brobdingnagian world waiting to be conquered...... but something is coercing me and drawing me back from opening the door...... an inconspicuous and invisible force called my conscience...... its confining me inside the four walls......... I wish to break the shackles........ I wish to be free........... I wish the light to illuminate me.......

I am waiting for a storm to sweep me by my feet and turn me upside down and make my life a different one..... a complete metamorphosis.....!!!!

Not to be continued.............. THE END!!!!!

God save God's own Land....

2008-08-01T05:42:00.000-07:00

I was absoultely beguiled when I read an article in The New India Express dated 31st July 2008 titled "When the going gets tough, the tough..........run and hide" The article has been penned in reference to the recent bomb scare that sent shock waves across our city. The author Manoj K Das has used irony as a weapon to deal with the so called patriots of our state. He has raised a lot of questions for the politicians and even the common man to cogitate about. (I consider politicians not as common man but a class well below them).

Manoj doesn't leave any stone unturned in indirectly criticizing all the political outfits. He enquires where the khadi clad young turks, the young comrades and the saffron brave hearts were, when the state was sweating in the bomb scare last week. He ridicules them for doing a vanishing act at the time of need.

Not only does he give a subtle hint about the all-weather protest by the young turks against the Class vii text book but also does not forget to compliment the comrades who did a wonderful act by smoking the godmen and women out of their spiritual heavens. He says that we had watched with pride when these young politicians tore off one mask after the other. But none of them were seen helping the cops or the common people to search for the explosives. He chips in that we all expected at least the saffron brave hearts to build a human wall in between the explosives and an innocent life.

He again raises a question about what happened to Hindu leaders, Church Pontiffs and Moulavis who were worried about the threat to the secular fabric by a text book.

He concludes by saying that all those people, both political and spiritual, are used to shadow boxing and are weak-hearted that they crumble at the first sign of danger.

And in response to the article, Dr. Titus Sankaramangalam has rightly pointed that even a mosquito can wreck the state...keep apart bombs. He says that the curious thing about the scare was none of the politicians called for their ultimate weapon- The Hartal. Satirically, he exclaims that the hartal is the perfect safety device!!!!!!!!

Kudos to Manoj and Dr. Titus for trying to bring the attention of the people to such a shady contradiction. Five thumps up for both of them for their wry but strong statements.

To wind up, I would like to quote Manoj's lines..... "God save God's own land"

I Truly Object........!!!!!

2008-07-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

All these days, I have been writing poems and my complex thoughts. Now I have a sudden realization that I should write down whatever that is going through my mind. I decided to give it an attempt and to see what comes up......

At present, the situation around me is not so encouraging. Both, my personal as well as professional life is at a stand still. I want something new..... new means a new environment... a change from the routine..... i know that everybody experiences such things through out their life's.... but when it comes to self, its quite disturbing..... we tend to lose interest in things around us.....

My senior manager for the last 3.5 years is being shifted to a different department..... I thoroughly understand the undercurrents.... but I can do nothing but accept whatever is happening....a feeling of helplessness. He was a man with deep compassion for the fellow beings, be it his colleague, friend or anybody around. A committed man... married both to his organization and his job.... he was instrumental in retaining many employees in the company..... and the price that he had to pay for his commitment, which I believe, is truly dissentient and objectionable. And I want to say this to all you deaf ears.......... "what you did now is fallacious and shows extreme callowness!!!!!!!!!!

Confidence

2008-07-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am only one, but still I am one;
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something;
and because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do something that I can do....

-Edward Everett Hale

Lesson

2008-07-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.

Zeitgeist

2008-07-29T10:26:00.000-07:00

In sync with the spirit of the time..........the spirit characteristic of an age or generation.........the spirit so unaltered, so unchanged!!!!!

At first, I never believed in it.... tried not to cogitate about it and never ever tried to abide by it....i consider this as lack of perception, intuition and imagination....

Then I realized that this spirit is true and unfeigned. True to the core.... completely innocent and impeccant.... gentle and docile....

I made up my mind and decided to pursue this spirit. I waited for the dawn to hold me with its golden fingers...... to hug me gently and to feel comfortable in its bosom.....to experience the lovely feeling which i have heard about.....and wished that it will exculpate me...... but its always late when the realization dawns on me......

and then it was morning....

Pushing the river

2008-07-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

Pushing the flowing river

Severely burnt, severely crushed
I stand here with nothing to earn
loosely tied, perpetually disfigured
I stand here mentally opaqued

Lonliness, I say is a blessing to me
but bane to many who detest it
living life is a burden to me
and that is how I wanted it to be..........

Rendezvous problem

2008-07-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

Rendezvous problem

''Two young people have a date in a park they have never been to before. Arriving separately in the park, they are both surprised to discover that it is a huge area and consequently they cannot find one another. In this situation each person has to choose between waiting in a fixed place in the hope that the other will find them, or else starting to look for the other in the hope that they have chosen to wait somewhere.

If they both choose to wait, of course, they will never meet. If they both choose to walk there are chances that they meet and chances that they do not. If one chooses to wait and the other chooses to walk, then there is a theoretical certainty that they will meet eventually; in practice, though, they would need an infinite amount of time for it to be guaranteed. ''

Now the question is...... should I walk or juz wait...........

The African Lesson

2008-06-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

"The African Lesson"

"Every morning in Africa, a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.........,
Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest deer or it will starve to death.......,
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a deer....when the sun comes up, you'd better be running...........!!!"

For the past quarter of a dozen years, I have been running slower than the slowest deer...... Its high time to sharpen my faculties and exhort for an ultimate renaissance..... rise like a phoenix from the ashes of desolation....!!!!

My pyre is already decorated....... decorated with insane manifestations of imbecile beings.... whose strategies and approach seems harebrained and cretinous....!!!!

Its time for a dash....a final sprint towards the long forgotten goals...... a lam from the imbroglio and pandemonium....... and the much wanted inspiration imbibed from "The African Lesson"!!!!!!

The handicapped turtle.........

2008-06-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

The handicapped turtle.........

Everyday I wake up to realize tht nothing is the same..everything seems to be a lot different... I wonder what is in store for me each day..!!!

I wake up to a blue light blinding my vision, I could hear some loud music vociferating in my ears as if an earphone is plugged in.... I try 2 remove it frm my ears but the effort was in vain and the music continued 2 flow endlessly.... I tried to close my ears but the music persisted .......a perpetual earphone was plugged in to my ears.....

I continued to search 4 things that will make me happy... though I realize tht there is nothing called ultimate happiness but only intermittent impulses of happiness!!!!

Sometimes I feel vulnerable....so vulnerable to desires, to passions, to emotions, to love and much more.... sometimes I feel so fragile, so delicate, so brittle... even the slightest vibration can damage my soul.... I wonder why I am putting on an unbreakable, hard and opaque cover all over me.. when i am so easily ramified and annihilated by even a gentle vibe... voluntary or involuntary..!!!!

This might be another masterpiece created by the Ultimate Hand.... who also gave forms to the turtle and the oyster....!!!!

And here He made a handicapped turtle........!!!!!!

The Bohemian Rhapsody....!

2008-05-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

The Bohemian Rhapsody....!

I have realized that my words are obsolete...... my thoughts rusty....my emotions abstract.....and every thing about me is archaic.....

I decided to look at my life with a different perspective.... I looked in to the mirror to see what adorns it.....I felt as if I have turned blind.....I couldnt see anything.... not even a vague reflection....not even a silhouette.....just dark greyish smoke......thick suffocating smoke...........

I felt a pain in my back....I could feel the flow of hot blood....it was running down the back of my legs.... I looked down.... saw a pool of blood around me.....I turned around to get a glimpse of the friend who did it to me.....nobody was there....I looked again....this time more carefully.....through the smoke I could see familiar faces....happy faces.....faces of people whom I know.....my parents, my family, my friends, my acquaintances............

the rhapsody continues..........

The coveter....!!!!!!

2008-03-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

You came in to my lush green garden
with infinite variety of seasons
the herbs and the child lawn
greeted you with smile so beloved.

My thoughts are still rusting
wondering what made you mine
can we ever pledge what knot-
the lawn and the dew drop sense.

Yonder, I say to my dear rose
in the far western horizon we meet
not this day, not tomorrow
at the end of this act so beautifully played.

A role so venomous I play
venomous to the holder and the beholder
treachery in all its vigour
would perish only with my last breath................!!!!!!!!

Cupids arrow

2008-03-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

Cupid has struck me right in my heart
and my heart is no longer mine
oh my rabbit, you have conquered all my senses
and my senses longed to make you mine.

Her face, round as a lunar replica
her teeth shined like pure diamonds
her lips are like rose petals
and her silky hair danced in rhythm with the breeze................

The mighty

2008-03-02T10:07:00.000-08:00

His face was a careless carving
a bad workman's ugly sculpture
ugliness in all its vigour
was a bad omen to all those pass by

It was a tragic end to a happy life
a beautiful flower withering in the sun
was handsome like a dew drop
but is cautiously vanishing in daylight

He has reached the evening of his life
now its time to bid adieu
the mighty came like a cunning fox
and took him away from this dirt.......................

An inspiring poem by my friend..........

2008-02-26T12:37:00.000-08:00

Abruptly awakened, thoughts dissolved and shaken,
Innocent euphoria returned followed by deepest despair,
Wallowed in troughs with my feet, searching thoughts unknown,
Balancing was not ease to do, feelings unfathomed

Tired not to do, forced not to go, but again pushed myself
Completely succumbed by the only worldly truth; pain
Nothing but the pain of love: Unconditional Love,
An ache, long endured, finally healed through and through.

Unconditional, the only hypothesis; corroborate,
Opine, the feels and the sense of it drowned me,
Chained by memory, locked by worldly ties,
Cede, tried not to…. I believe; I tried not to

Never asked for love; unconditional?
Never asked your side; unconditional?
Never asked the shoulder to rest; unconditional?
Never asked to hold my arms; unconditional?

Clouds of fog, each, we carry, heavy, that past,
Time's against us, moving fast, breath or two, and then the last,
Faded, indistinct stuffed thoughts, still on consideration,
But you see it is unconditional; Ad infinitum

The belly dancer.

2008-02-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

Dedicated...............

To the belly dancer, who have never done a belly dance in public........
to the belly dancer, who taught me to love.........
to the belly dancer, who with her words and deeds, left an everlasting impression of love in me........................
to the belly dancer, who sow the seeds of passion and compassion in me.......
to the belly dancer, who liked my touch and adored my kiss.....................

to my belly dancer.............................. I LOVE U & I always will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The subtle thief...!!!

2008-02-23T03:56:00.000-08:00

As I fly like a seabird,
but with directions so ignorant,
enjoying every bit
of my precious, priceless life...............

Many things I propose in my so small a stay,
but there is something adamant to dispose..
death as a subtle thief sneaked in to my life..
took away, my so small but precious priceless life....!!!!

Wounded..............!!!!

2008-02-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

You reminded me of my long lost love,
and dug my love's burial ground,
has committed an unforgivable mistake,
and wounded my already wounded heart.......

Oh cruel! my heart is still bleeding,
bleeding at the cost of my love's life,
do not punish me yet again,
this heart can gather nothing more...............