Potency test

Last week, I read an interesting article in an online news site about making potency test mandatory for couples. The news site was quoting Veteran Tamil actress Manorama's statement in this regard. She cited that potency test should be made mandatory for all couples before getting married and that medical certificates should be produced to prove it. This is applicable to both the sexes.

Such a rule will have pros and cons for sure. The potency test or fertility test done on women may lead to dire aftermaths like testing a woman's virginity and also testing her maturity to get married. But an HIV test prior to marriage should be welcomed with warm applause. I dont know whether such a rule is realizable at the present time or in the near future and also I am skeptical about the extend to which such a rule will prove to be useful. Moreover, like in every other practice in this country, this may also end up in issuance of bogus certificates by corrupt medical practitioners.

Anyway.... I wont be surprised to see some new key words adorning the matrimony columns in the near future......

Onam Shopping

Onam- the harvest festival of Kerala is now in its full swing. Malayalees who take pride in their rich cultural heritage celebrate this festival with pomp and in full spirits. Its a vibrant festival of colours, joy and prosperity. Every malayalee makes grand arrangements to welcome the virtuous and legendary King Mahabali aka Maveli under whose reign Kerala witnessed its golden era.

Onam season is the peak time of consumer goods business in Kerala. Every manufacturer and retailer comes up with a variety of offers during this season. Right from vegetables to home appliances..... from cars and bikes to flats and apartments, every business tries all the tricks in the trade to woo the customer. In cochin, this onam season was marked by the offers made by two of the most popular retail brand shops for home appliances. The super star of this seson was LCD televisions. Both the shops advertised the price of 32" LCD TV to be starting from Rs 21K. This rekindled my desire (which I had rested long ago due to exorbitant prices) to buy an LCD television and surprise my parents when I get back home during Onam holidays. So I decided to visit both the shops to compare and buy the super star of this season.

In the first shop, I was welcomed by an corpulent guy dressed as the great Mahabali. His costumes and body shape were such that even the greatest enemy of Mahabali will drop his head in shame. As I was scorning at the looks of the caricature, the so called "traffic controller" of the shop gave me a cold look and he asked me to park my vehicle properly to avoid further hoo-hahs. Thats when I realized that I had blocked the way to the parking lot. It took me close to 20 minutes and 100% effort to find a place to park my vehicle.

I entered the huge showroom and was balled over by the size of the crowd which occupied every nook and corner of the huge floor. Before I could recover from my shock, I was brisked away by a sales person and he took me to the section where LCD TVs were displayed. He started giving me a lecture on the brands that were displayed on the stands. I asked him specifically for the brand that was available for 21K. But he continued with his script. Every 5 minutes I reminded him about the 21K product and he conveniently ignored my question by demoing the best TVs available. Soon I lost my temper and demanded him to show me the TV that was advertised. He tried to convince me that the particular TV does not have long life and that the sound quality is poor. I again demanded to see the model and when my pestering went beyond the limits he told me that the TV was out of stock. I asked him why it was advertised in that day's newspaper if there was no stock. He admitted that it was a trick to pull the crowd in. And at last I questioned him whether such a TV is available in the market at all. He smiled. That was it!!! I walked out of the showroom cursing myself for falling in for such advertisements!!!!

I never bothered to visit the other showroom at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And guess what..... I decided to watch all the Onam programmes on my old 21" CTV....!!!!!

Pic courtesy: Internet

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence

I work in a conventional Indian IT firm where strategies- sans logic- are born every other minute and real work flashes in a New York minute..... that too just occasionally!! Everyday I learn to leverage the available resources and strategize ways to generate the- so called- sustainable business.

My boss emphasizes the need to orient and align with the goals of the Organization and that each customer should be a qualified lead. Closings are always important but one should also keep in mind all those aspects and work towards building potential clients and relationships which can be leveraged to generate revenue opportunities and to meet our business objectives.

I wonder how many jargons and key words do I come across everyday. Some are repetitions, some are new and most modern, some are archaic and primitive. I wonder how I cope up with delivering all those elevated sales pitches that my boss insists. Sometimes hearing these jargons make me feel sick. Sometimes it makes me think. And sometimes I share it with my friends and laugh my lungs out or do it in the urban dictionary way..... "ROFLMAOSHISMP"*!!!!!!

I wonder why I am made to attend meetings with people who are paid twice and thrice my salary. In those sessions, I am impelled to answer all those questions, give explanations and feel the same pressure those guys go through. I am supposed to behave in a matured manner and am paid peanuts for going through all those blackjacks. For peanuts you will only get monkeys to work for you..... am I am one of those.....!!!! But I hate peanuts.... for sure!!!!

I think its time to "leverage" my "cutting edge" "core competencies" for "sustainable" and "exponential" gains to raise the crowd eye brows!!!!! :-)

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence!!!!!!

*ROFLMAOSHISMP- Rolling on floor laughing my ass off so hard I shit my pants!!!!

My tryst with temptations

I woke up today with a sprained neck that reduced my head movement to just 90 degrees. I opened the front door to find the newspaper drenched in the rain. The morning discomfort was aggravated when I realized that the newspaper boy have taken the authority to replace the newspaper with the one I hated the most. I put the newspaper aside and searched for a morning fag and was delighted to find a lonely one in a packet behind the book shelf. Little did I know that I lacked the most needed ammunition to light the above said loner. The search for the match box continued for close to 15 minutes. I tried every trick in the trade to arc fire from the grandfather lighters which were just the remnants of their past dutiful souls. At last..... I left the urge to rest!!!!!

I put on the sneakers and went out to the deserted road for the morning walk. The rain started abruptly nipping my errand in the bud itself. I ran back home cursing my luck for this stillborn morning. "You should not accept failure.." I reaffirmed myself. So i decided to beat the rain by having my morning walk on the verandah. I put on the earphones, clipped the phone to my pocket and started walking. The music from the FM radio added rhythm to my walk. The process lasted till the end of the fourth song and the pleasant sounding RJ predicted 3 more days of continuous rain....... I went in to my room and continued my daily rounds of aerobics...... please dont misunderstand me..... its not the aerobics that you guys know..... it was invented just by me for my own convenience..... that by doing so I wanted to comfort myself that I am bound for a weight loss. :-)

After half an hour of "My-aerobics", I decided that its time for a coffee. It was still raining heavily.... so I took out my umbrella (btw the umbrella was gift...ok... and no prizes for guessing who gifted it) and started walking. The sides of the highway was adorned with big and small colourful hoardings of Tata DOCOMO.. the freshest addition to the evergrowing telecom market....!!! I reached the bakery and pushed the button of the vending machine.... Before I could see the result of my physical energy on the electronic medium, the shop keeper suddenly announced the "absence" of coffee powder... So I had to suffice myself with the so called fresh tea that came straight from the hills of munnar.......!!!! The puffs that adorned the glass displays gave me a hard time... I couldnt just ignore the beauty that smiled at me unfurling her folds and showing a piece of egg adorned with spicy onion, through the tiny pore on her fold. I tried myself to turn my back to her..... but she was so seductive and at last I succumbed to my temptation.... no ..... to her beauty.....!!!!!

Will Power

Lack of will power is the newest villain in my life. I never realised that I lacked such a great quality and second the fact that its indeed regretful to miss this virtue. Whatever it may sound like, I really need a backing to acquire this upstanding quality... sooner or it will be too late to repent!!!!

I am enjoying the newly found rhythm of climbing steps. Take one step at a time and it ties in to a fast paced music in your mind and body. Take two steps at a time... stretched ones..... you may gather more ground and distance but it relates to a melodious soothing euphony. But the rhythm and the beat changes when you descend. You tend to get delighted about the easiness of coming down and forget the rhythm and the music associated with the contrary. The melody is lost. Its common to mistake and map the easiness and delight to success until you find out the the comfort you enjoyed while descending have resulted in placing yourself at the bottom of the stack. Just take a glance at the top and you will realize that you will have to find a different rhythm, all over again, to climb back.... and that requires a lot of will power!!!!!!

Nowadays, I am getting exceedingly irritated. I have my hypertension to blame for my inordinate irritation. But that is quite unreasonable.... the effects of HT on your body is apprehensible but its effects on your mind and your thought process is unfathomable. It definitely have some known connection and I have no intention to explore more.

Let me get back to "will power" cultivation!!!!!!

A conflicting hypothesis

The red ornate meat at the left side of my body is pounding heavily. I could feel the throb and the tireless flow of hot fluid......... doctors term it as hypertension. Quite strange..... hypertension at this age... very uncommon!!!!!

I have felt this throbbing before, when I was with my love..... long back in school. That was a delight... a feeling of joy but now....this is disturbing.

Wish everything is back to normal and that the throbbing happens only for love and not by any somatic disorders!!!!!

Optimistic Pessimism

It was General elections today and this was the first time that my precious vote was not cast, ever since I turned 18. Do I miss the black ink mark on the index finger of my left hand? Yes, I guess.

It was a holiday today, but I preferred to work (or rather come to office) eyeing the compensatory off that is to be utilized next week for my cousin's wedding. I patted myself for not heeding to the innumerous phone calls from the 'machus' from my home town. Compensatory off and wedding were my trump cards against them....

Now its 12 midnight and just one more hour to go to hit the bed. Even after a myriad of phone calls and emails, I am left with no results. A bit tired and dispirited I decided to sit back and contemplate on the directions to strike gold. I tried to reassure myself that I am here to work hard and to bring home the bacon. Be smart..... I dictated myself.... but the journey has been so long and clumsy.... so cumbersome. What it emphatically incited in me is the uttermost minifying of self-assurance and self-confidence.

Tomorrow is yet another rosy day.... starting with the same old hopes......might as well end in abjection as always.....

Optimistic pessimism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living on the edge

I cannot comprehend whatever is happening to me these days. A few months before I would not have imagined that I would get stuck in such complex situations. The emotional side of me is irrepressible and yearning for more....... But whatever it is and whatever is said and done, I enjoyed those moments and would never curtail the effluence. The streaming is gentle but uninterrupted and it is feeding the thirsty banks which were pining for a driblet of water.

My first instinct was to rue over it but now I thank myself because I at least have some pleasant befalling to bite on......and have something to think about and ruminate.... my mind is now surfeited...... and thankful for having such understanding souls around me to hold on to......

Canary in a coal mine

I decided to lock my key board when I realized that my pennings have started to hurt people. It was neither intentional nor a deliberate attempt designed to defame people. Nevertheless I would like to unfeignedly apologize even for the slightest smite caused to anybody who felt that I was trying to sabotage their good name...... and in turn their life!!!!! Let me shower my sincere gratitude to people who never tried to understand the gist of whatever was written in this space.

I tried to control myself from continuing with this blog, tried to kill it in its infancy but an inner voice, which was quite strange to me, asked me to flow on.... till it meets it death naturally...

But I am sensing an impending danger- a vague vision but it keeps on recurring. A venomous snake clinging to my toe slowly inflicting in me its deadly poison right from the extreme end. I feel like I am dethroned from my ingenious kingdom which never existed. The usurper is a stranger to my eyes but a very familiar being to my subconscious mind. The pallor starts disseminating slowly covering me in a pall of glumness. I feel its phantasmal presence all over. I feel that the terminus is near..... very near that I can extend my hand and touch..... a pinning cold aesthesis!!!!!!

Doctored relationships

What does relationship mean?? It is a state of connectedness between people especially an emotional connection.  Being a social animal, we all have relationships. But to what extend are we emotionally involved.... say in a friendly relationship, in a love relationship, or in parental relationship etc.....? The point to ponder is the word "emotional".

We all use the word "affair" to depict a "love affair". The actual meaning of affair is- an intense amorous relationship, usually of short duration- A romantic and sexual relationship between two people who are not married to each other. But we all proclaim that somebody or even ourselves is having an affair. Do we really mean it that way? Or is it just that we are following the language that we are used to.

But in the recent times, relationships especially friendship and love have taken a slue towards the right meaning of the term "affair"....not to mention the emotional quotient. Relationships have been manipulated and doctored in all possible ways. Even a ten year old have started approaching the opposite sex just for the "affair" factor. Just imagine the plight of things when he/she grows up.

Lets not act as if we are not prone to it. It definitely includes you and me and it emphatically affects us. It definitely requires our sincere effort and ageless struggle towards building a better place to live.

Lets pray for a better place to live..... a place where each of us are emotionally attached to each other... Lets pray that we are filled and repleted with moral values and flavours of unfeigned love and care...... Lets pray........ !!!

I want to take you home

I open my window to see the "Kani Konna" with full of yellow flowers portraying nature in its full feel. The earth beneath is a canvas of fresh yellow. I leave all the lickings behind and I even forget the rising temperature. All I feel is just the caressing warmth of the beautiful nature.

A breeze came dancing in through the wooden frame fondling me gently, brushing my cares away. The soft melody that is circling in the background makes my day even more splendiferous. If you ask me for a single reason to live, I will say with out a second thought that I wish to live just to stand by my window enjoying this exquisite feeling forever.

I wish all my dear friends were here with me to enjoy this beauteous day. I wish "you" were here with me too. You know how much I wanted to take you home to stand beside me near the window, hand in hand, to enjoy this resplendent moment..... together!!!!!!

Life...... gimme more!!!!!

The title seems like an avaricious goof's lament. But please don't be prejudiced... I am not one of those goofs who make a hue and cry that nothing is enough. I do realize that everybody desires more out of life and is not allayed with whatever they have..... and you may term me as one of them. But let me explain.....

It has been almost 4 years since I have become stagnant, both professionally and personally. Looking out for a new job or a new relationship gives me absolute creeps!!! I am afraid of things going wrong.... afraid of taking the turns.... afraid of meeting with failure.... and i know all these are common aches.... yet when it comes to self, its disgusting.

In a job, what would you feel if your are asked to report vertically, horizontally and diagonally??? Would you sense a role conflict?? Would you feel that the enjoyment is being tweeted out of your work??? How would you feel if you are over-supervised and duties are not delegated in the way it should be??? Its inviolable pandemonium!!!! And I am virtually in the heart of this bedlam.

I have been trying to change myself to fit to the environment. Trying to see the virtuous side of it with out complaining. But now it has come to an impasse... I want things to change.... I want things to be different...... I am ready to fight for a brand new beginning... ready to sacrifice... ready to forfeit all those comforts and comfort zones..... and in reciprocation I want life to give me more!!!!!!

Faded destination

Its very dingy and depressing to be unsuccessful. Its even more sore to realize our abominable workmanship. The craft of being successful has become a faded illusion to me. Now standing at the brink of a passing year, nothing is left in it for me to rejoice..... let alone survive!!!!!

Now I am ignorant of directions and I dont see any roads leading me to my destination.... I am wonderstruck since I dont actualize any destination at all....!!!!!!

Identify the 'real dogs'!!!!!

I was taken aback by the comment passed by the Chief Minister of the most literate state in India about the martyrdom of Sandeep Unnikrishnan. He stated that if it was not for Sandeep not even a dog would have turned towards them. He neither showed due respect to the patriot who laid his life for the country nor did he seem to be politically and diplomatically correct. In a country were diplomacy is always given a chance even when the heart has been shelled in to pieces, this should not have been a surprise to anybody.

We shed a part of our income to pay these public servants who has no control not even on their tongue. Lets take an example...... we have a maid servant at home and we pay her to do her job in the most appropriate manner. If she fails continuously to do her duties, what would be our reaction???? Will we keep her forever or we replace her with another one???? But in our democratic set up, we have to wait for 5 long years to show our reaction or objection to these hare brained and insane individuals.

I wonder where Mr. Maratha- jai Maharashtra- Raj Thackerey was when Mumbai was quivering in the terror attacks. It seems that his policy was not to allow any non maratha to live in Mumbai and it doesn't pertain to non Indians at all. Terrorists are most welcome. Very amusing policy indeed!!!! Mr. Maratha should realize that those brave Indian Commandos who lost their lifes to liberate the city were not marathas alone but were from different parts of India. Its time for Mr. Maratha to agnize that attacking the innocent people who come to Mumbai to earn their livelihood is not the right way to define bravery. If he really loves his birth place, then take action to restrict the entry of foreign terrorists who spits fireballs on the heart of the Motherland.

I know that nothing is going to change. Diplomacy will be given yet another chance. And all those "enlightened" rulers of the country will try to remain politically correct sacrificing the beautiful face of our Motherland.

Anomalous manipulation

How many of you beleive that cats are reincarnation of bad spirits??? How many of you consider the wild but domesticated creature as bad omen? Do you cancel your errands if a cat happens to cross your way? If your answer is a confused "yes", then please explain to me the logic behind your belief......

Recently, while driving my car down an empty road, I hit a cat accidently. It was late in the night... so I thought it was better not to stop the car to see the poor creature's plight. My cousin who was with me explained this incident to his old grand mother. She proclaimed that the cat we hit is a "rakshas"- a malyalam word for an evil spirit. And she asked him to be more careful..... because rakshas will avenge the cruelty eventhough it was an accident.......!!!!!

I was trying to guess the logic behind this..... I hate these superstitions which are quite irrational that bob up just because of fear and ignorance...... and people manipulate it according to their whims and fancies...... and makes these beliefs anomalous and extensively marked by incongruity!!!!!!

My Web 2.0 odyssey

I am a fervid user of social networking sites and blogs. Little did I realize that I am due to sell this technology to corporates in a country hit drastically by the economic disaster or “slow down”- just to go by the common term. Never in my wildest imagination did I ideate that Orkut, Facebook and YouTube had so much to do with collaborative computing and web 2.0.

Nowadays, whenever I log in to any of these sites, I fail to see the beauty and utility of these applications….. I forget to realize the essence and gist of these tools…. what curbs my mind is collaboration, content-syndication, messaging-protocols, plugins, widgets etc which broadly comes under the term coined by Tim O’Reilly as Web 2.0.

Now I realize that the beauty of anything and everything will be at sea when we understand what it is made of….. whether it is technical applications or human beings… the less we know, the more we like it…. and familiarity indeed breeds contempt……

Quitting vagabondage

It has been more than a month since I wrote something here. Was a bit busy with work and the time in office was a hectic caboodle of chafes. A whole lot of assignments and a new but tight schedule as well. The clocks were adjusted to account for the daylight savings time and that entailed that my sleep will be delayed for an hour more.

The pilgrimage season has begun and I am on a fasting fling. That implicated a strict shift in my zoophagous food habits and strict abstinence from any form of flirting (mental & physical), insobrieties and tipsinesses. The facial growth is getting denser with every passing day and hopefully I am bound for a weight loss too. The purity of mind and body are basal requisites during this period of austerity..... and that is an acclivitous task.........!!!!! I am tripping and falling.... straining to get up again and to be on course...... believing that I could elapse through the whole episode, perhaps with a bit of pain...... and ofcourse with His blessings...!!!!!!!!!

A blithe theory

Being a man, I envy women for a whole lot of things. A man can never ever enjoy the pleasure of breast feeding nor could he experience the feeling of carrying a life inside his body. I asked quite a few mothers what they felt when they breast feed their babies. But none could give me a pleasing account on their experience.

One of my friends, ofcourse a man, explained to me an amusing theory on this topic. According to his school of thought, those baby boys who bite their mamma's nipples while breast feeding will grow up to become heterosexual men and the others become gays..... that was quite funny indeed. I wonder what might be the case with baby girls...... :-)

What a way to explain sexual orientation!!!!!!

Today.........

Today..............

Today... I feel like my hands are empty and my heart is vacuous ...... but if I assay to drop a word, I know it will spill over......... Its time for self discovery... not for self amelioration or self improvement.... because without discovering the lost self it would be inconceivable to improve......

I am trying to tune in to the music that my heart ineluctably needs.... but the chords are so wispy and obscure that I cant make out even a single note.... I want to accede in to a trance.... even that is unattainable.....

I am sacking the thoughts right here for the fear that it would bubble over.........!!!!

but "today"............. I wish....

Music in the Womb

This is my 38th week in my mother's womb. I am too excited to see the outer world... to experience the first breath....to feel the fresh air..... to see the world around....

Mom is also excited but she is frightened too....a typical delirium... she says that I have started moving tempestuously..... she can feel my hiccups too.... I am practicing breathing and blinking ;-)

My organs are fully developed now and the skin has started turning pink. My toenails and fingernails have grown to the tips of toes and fingers and my muscles are getting stronger too... Mom is feeling extremely uncomfortable and clumsier and is hurriedly packing her bags for the week long hospital detainment....

I am getting ready too... preparing to bid adieu to my 38 week old shelter... to become free from the armour.... but suddenly something started perturbing me.... i am going to miss this place.... I am going to miss the warmth of this adorable abode.... I am going to miss the lovely music vibrating inside.....reverberated by mom's unending love for the unseen piece of her own bod.....

I want to cry out aloud.... begging her to keep me inside.... to bask in the warmth of her womb and to relish the aeonian music......