Mellow rays of memory

She might be around 12 years old… slim and beautiful…. with sleepy eyes, loosely tied hair, a heavy school bag on her shoulder and clad in a coffee brown pinafore with cream inner shirt…. a typical school girl. She lazily boarded the bus and with her droopy eyes she started exploring for a vacant seat. She was apprehensively eyeing the vacant seat next to me and slowly took a step forward but retraced nabbing her purpose at the last moment. She turned towards me, still fighting with her cerebrations and I gestured her to sit down. She sat down beside me but with great dubiety. The weariness due to a draggy day at school might have impelled her to make the decision.

She was not young enough to be my daughter and was not old enough to be my sister but I felt a similar bond with her. A fond regard which was unaccountable. The air around her, her slender arms with tiddly hairs, her visible cares of sitting with a man, the way she clumsily moved her head, her hand kerchief stained with blue ink, her uniform, the belt and the black shoes….. reminded me of the girls in my school days. I felt a sudden urge to go back to my school and to be with my friends.

In the short journey, I remembered all my friends in school- boys and girls, who were once an inherent part of my life.. whom I had gradually lost in the flux of time. I remembered everything… the small fights and quarrels, the pranks- on friends, teachers and all those who came by, the competitions- academic, curricular and extra curricular, the fests- house day, school day, sports day etc, the modest celebrations for Onam and Christmas, the treats for birthdays, the tensions of exams, the exultations and pain of results, the vacations, the rides in school bus, the thrill and anguish of being in love, the rules that were so tempting to be broken, the pangs of bidding adieu…. etc etc….

I sat beside the lovely girl and I felt as if I was back to the old halcyon school days. Such small instances can bring fond and warm memories of the bygone era. Though nostalgic, I felt so refreshed and happy too… inadvertently this little girl has made my day!!!!

My Alpine Dream

It was one of the smallest mountains in the Eastern Alps. The ever stretching vegetation of oak trees and Scots pine was a treat to watch and it was like a dream come true for me. I had been traveling a lot and I wasn’t sure which country I was in… might be Switzerland or Austria. But I was feeling very much at home and I thanked my geography teacher for giving me such well-chiseled picture of these geographical areas that I never felt like in a unknown territory.

It was cold but dry and the gentle cold breeze flowing through the pine trees made a sweet whistle. I was on a special mission this time…. to take some candid shots of Alpine Apollo butterfly. Among the 20,000 species of butterflies inhabiting this vast earth…..I was wondering why I was attracted towards this particular creature. The reason might be my extreme liking for white colour or my liking for coddlers… like the spots that spoiled the purity of its wings.

I walked through the grove of pine trees to reach a small stretch of scrubland and was hoping for my catch there. These meadows were known to be the abode of such beautiful faunae. And as Google says “I’m feeling lucky” … I was also feeling lucky that day. A kaleidoscope of Appolo butterflies where fluttering on a tiny shrublet nearby. I had always kept the camera ready for any unforeseen action. I rested myself on the ground and adjusted my camera lens. And at that point of time my whole world was focussed on those tiny but beautiful creatures. The perfect frame was set and my brain initiated a signal to my index finger. I was about to click the best shot of my life…. but somebody shook me so hard that my camera slipped off from my hand. I was so furious and taken aback. I turned around to find out the culprit who spoiled my pricey shot. It was a very familiar face…….

“Get up!!! Today is Monday.You have to go to office today, right???” Amma shouted.

“You spoiled my precious shot… Amma” I complained. “And where is my camera??” I asked… still searching on the bed for my lost camera.

“What camera??? It might be in your cupboard” She said, hiding her shock.

“Get ready to go to office… you are already late” She continued and left my room.

I got up from my bed and stretched myself to get rid of the cramps. As I was about to get out of my room, I overheard the hushed voice of Amma… complaining to dad.

“He is very disturbed and has a lot of bad dreams these days. We should consult some astrologer and get a solution for this. I think its a very bad time for him…. Oh God….please take care of him!!!!!”

I retraced my steps and went back to bed wondering about the effect my “Alpine dream” had on my mom….!!!!!

Tomorrow is falser than the former day

“When I consider life, ’tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled by hope, men favour the deceit; trust on, and think to-morrow will repay: to-morrow’s falser than the former day.” – John Dryden

Every bubble bursts

Ritz Plaza

Room No: 263

I opened the teak finish wooden door of Room No: 263 and held it open for her to walk in. She softly brushed past my body and I slowly followed her in, locking the door from inside. The room was small but bore an expensive look with the white satin bed cover, matching pillow covers and embroidered curtains. As I walked in, I looked around the room. A wooden cot, a wardrobe with mirror, a coffee table and two chairs were the only furniture in the room.

“Worth Rs 1600“, I thought, recollecting the advance I payed to the fat feminine guy at the counter. I had thoughtfully ignored his inquiring glance when I signed the check-in register.

I stood at the doorway admiring the worthiness of the money I spent and completely forgetting the presence of another person in the room. She was comfortably seated on the bed with her hand resting on her bag. I looked at her and realized how beautiful she looked in the peacock blue salwar and light blue shawl. I remember the day when she wore it for the first time. It was on her 21st birthday and her father had gifted this dress to her. That was two years ago and she still looked the same- cute and beautiful. She is Sruthi, my landlord’s daughter.

I couldn’t believe that I was with Sruthi in a hotel room and that too in her home city. It was just one hour before when I got a call from her. I was in the office preparing for a client presentation. She said she wanted to spent some time with me in the evening and I readily obliged because she never had the habit of making such wishes. I made up some reasons and left the office to meet her. She was waiting for me at the bus stop near my office and in fifteen minutes I picked her up from there.

She was unusually silent when she sat next to me in the car. I asked her whether she had some plans for the evening. She shook her head and said that she had left her home in the afternoon saying that she was going back to her hostel. She was doing her Post Graduation in a college which was 100 Kms from here. Since it was already getting dark, there was no chance of her travelling 100 Kms at this time. That was it. She wanted to spend the night with me and I have to make arrangements now. I cannot take her to my place because I was living on the 1st floor of her own house.

Lesson: Don’t fall in love with your land lord’s daughter because you won’t have your own space to spent time with her. I always learn things in the hard way.

I had to find a place stay… a safe place to take her with me. I called a friend to ask his opinion and made up some stories saying that my friend and family are visiting the city and I have to arrange for their stay. He suggested to check in at Ritz Plaza which is beyond the city limits and on the way to the beach. I thanked him and thanked myself for calling the right guy.

It was drizzling as I drove in to the parking lot of Ritz Plaza. I went straight to the fat feminine guy at the counter and motioned Sruthi to occupy the vacant couch at the lobby. I paid the advance, signed the register and silently cursed the rules for making me enter my full name and address for checking in. The front office guy looked straight at my face as he gave the key to Room No: 263.

“Rahul, where are you?” Sruthi quizzed. I was awakened from my thoughts and Sruthi was standing near me.

“Oh yeah. I was just thinking” I answered.

“Thinking about what?” She asked.

“Why did you cancel your trip today?” I asked eventhough I knew what her answer was. But I wanted to hear from her.

“I wanted to spend some time with you and to talk to you” She answered.

“Ok. But why so urgent?” I enquired just to make her lose temper.

“Why? Did I disturb you?” She asked and made a face.

“No, No. But see where we ended up….. in a hotel room” I said mocking displeasure in my voice.

She remained silent.

We had our rare intimate moments together in her house when her parents were not around. I used to take leave from office on those days during her vacation when her parents were not in the house. So being together was not a new thing for us. But that was in the safety of her own house unlike this hotel room. And I need to confess that this was my first experience staying in a hotel with a girl.

My last question had an inverse effect on her and she remained silent for another couple of minutes. I went towards her and sat beside her on the bed. I put my hands around her and gently pulled her towards me. She rested her head on my shoulder as I kissed on her forehead. I looked at her and saw her eyes gleaming. Did I see a tear drop…???? No… I guess!

“Do you love me?” She asked.

“Yes my dear. I love you” I said and kissed her quivering lips.

She clung to me as we descended on the bed and made love.

It was after midnight when I came back to my senses. She was lying on my arms and I had a bad cramp due to her weight. I tried to pull my hand without disturbing her but in vain. My action woke her up and she crawled away from me. I got up from the bed and went to the bath room and had a warm shower. When I came back she was sitting on the bed crossed legged and motioned me to sit beside her. I obeyed her like a child. She pulled me towards her and I rested my head on her lap. She had done this before….. whenever she had to discuss something serious. So I was all ears for her.

“You know Vinod?” She asked.

“Who?” I enquired.

“Vinod….Sankar uncle’s son who is a Scientist in ISRO. You have seen him when they visited our home, right?” She asked.

“Yeah. Whats with Vinod?” I quizzed.

Silence followed. And after a couple of minutes she said

“My parents have fixed my marriage with Vinod”

“What?????” I sprang up from her lap and shouted. “You never told me….”

“I had told you that something is fishy…..when they came to visit us last week. It wasn’t a usual visit. I had smelled a rat and had informed you. After that visit my parents were explaining to me a lot about that guy as if I don’t know him. They even asked me whether I like him or not” She explained.

“And remember what you said….. you said that it was just my feeling and there was nothing wrong????” She continued.

“Yeah. But how did it all happen so suddenly?” I quizzed.

“My parents went to Sankar uncle’s place today morning and came back with this happy news” She said sarcastically.

“Vinod has to go for an official trip to Turkey and they wanted this marriage to happen before that” She continued.

I was hell shocked and was walking up and down in the room. I was devastated. I never knew I would have to face this so soon

“You want me to talk to your parents??” I asked.

“Its so late. My father have already given a word and he wont differ. Only way left is to elope with you. Which I cannot do since I don’t’ want to my parents to be unhappy and suffer because of me.” She said.

“What about me? What about our happiness? Will you be happy without me?” I shouted.

“You will forget me soon. Same might be the case with me as well” She said.

“But…” She cut me short.

“Anyway you never wanted any commitments, right? You always wanted to be a free bird and now why are you reacting like this?” She questioned.

“But I love you and I was feeling so complete with you……” I tried to explain.

“Lets not talk about it Rahul. Its Over and I wanted to let you know” She said.

There was a long stint of silence before I talked conveying a false sense of guilt.

“Why didn’t you tell me this when we met today? You should have told this when we came in to this hotel at least”

“No. I wanted you today and I realize that I wont have you anymore. I wanted all the happiness together and wanted you to experience that too. I wanted our relationship to be complete lest I regret in the future” She explained.

The conversation came to a dead end. There was no more questions and explanations. It was like everything came to a stand still.

I looked at my watch. It was 5:30 in the morning. I got up from the bed and dressed up and she followed. We vacated the room and got in to the car.

“Where should I drop you?” I asked.

“In the bus station. I am going back to college” She said.

I didn’t reply.

After a brief silence I asked “When is your wedding?”

“End of this month” She said.

So soon….. I thought. So these are the last few moments. In five minutes she will be on her way and I wont get another chance to call her back. I was feeling the pangs of losing my love. But my inner self was forcing me to remain silent and I obliged.

“Dad will personally invite you and you should be there to bless me” She laughed sardonically. But I ignored her sarcasm.

Soon we reached the bus stand and I stopped the car. As she got out of the car I asked

“Where is the venue of your marriage function?”

“Oh Sorry. I forgot to tell you. Its in the banquet hall of the same hotel Ritz plaza” She smiled and walked towards the bus station.

Insanity

The midnight ride in Oscar’s car ‘Hyundai i20′ is a routine affair for me. We travel together after the graveyard shift and he drops me near my lodge which is 5 kilometers away from our office. These trips extend to the city bus station on weekends, from where I take a bus back to my home town. I have followed this modus operandi for more than a year.

It was another such usual trip during last weekend. Oscar was guiding the car down the empty four lane and Osbern was playing with the FM stations at the rate of one station per second. I was tired and sleepy and wanted to hit the bed as soon as possible. But the realization that it would take another 4 hours for my wish to be granted, increased my weariness. The comfortable air conditioning inside the car was forcing my eye lids to droop and I was slowly yielding to the “Korean” comforts.

I was suddenly woken up by a loud noise from the radio. Osbern had tuned the radio frequency to a no signal channel which caused the sudden commotion. I looked around. We had almost reached the city bus stand where I was bound to alight. Oscar halted the car near the bus station entry and I slowly and lazily climbed out of the car and from its comforts. I waved them good bye and walked towards the bus bay thinking about the long and tiresome journey back home. The Korean comfort and KSRTC comfort are two contrasting things that I usually experience in a short span of time. This forced me to make a futile decision to buy a Korean comfort or at least an Indian one…. a futile decision ofcourse…. and I make such decisions every
minute.

Since it was Diwali weekend the buses parked in the station were crowded with passengers heading to their home for this festival. During normal weekends, there will be hardly ten passengers in a fifty seater super fast bus and I usually get the liberty to choose the most comfortable seat among the vacant lot.

My limbs started aching and I searched for a  bench to sit and relax till the arrival of the next bus to my destination. There was no vacant space left in any of the benches and I cursed my luck for this buggered night. At last I
decided to lean on a crumbled wall at a corner on the bus bay and I unburdened the growing heaviness from my shoulder and rested the bag on the floor.

And suddenly a strange thing caught my attention. About twenty meters away from me, a shabbily dressed man with long hair was making a loud speech. His countenance and the ruckus he created was a clear testimony of his mental condition. He appeared like a psycho from all angles. Since I had nothing to do but wait for the bus, I decided to heed an ear to this strange man’s speech. He was shouting aloud and that was slowly drawing everybody’s attention.

“I had three beautiful daughters….. its not anyone’s fault that all the three were brutally raped… they paid the price for being beautiful….. b*t*hes…..!!!!” and he laughed aloud.

“I am a Christian and I married her, who is from a lower caste, thinking that she will love me…. I fought with my parents just for her…… and one day she admitted that all the three daughters were not my kids….. and you know what…. I hacked her to death” He continued to laugh.

“You know why these people are attacked everywhere??” He shouted pointing at the ladies sitting in the waiting room. “Its because these b*t*hes are beautiful” and he laughed again.

Suddenly his topic changed. “Buses bound to Delhi and Bombay have just departed and all the f**k*rs who missed the bus have to stay back in Kochi till morning and have to listen to me“

Then again he went back to the old topic and repeated the same story. “I had three beautiful daughters…..“

He was slowly losing all his audience who were waiting for the rest of his story but they were putting on an act as if they were not interested. It took another half an hour for my bus to arrive and during this interval, he repeated the same story innumerable times without even a slight variation in his tone or his words.

I boarded the bus….. and was amused at myself and the whole bunch of people who were listening to this man…. Who is more insane?? The man or the set of people including me who listened to him…..??? Lunacy and insaneness needs to be defined here….

As the bus departed, I looked at him through the glass window…. he had a new lot of audience listening to him….!!!!!

Unconditional love

    Your silent prayers
    and your love
    always reflects in me
    the joy of being alive.

    You loved and you lost
    but you never fell back
    still revives the warmth and
    the delight of being in love.

    Even in a puddle of grief
    you smile so heartily
    reminds me evermore
    the might of being angelic.

    Never to rue and regret
    you taught me so well
    and I cohere by your insights
    to learn the art of being you!!!!!

A Strange Message

I was woken up by the techno beats of my new ring tone. With out opening my eyes I explored for the phone on my bed… got hold of it and attended the call.

“Hello”, I said somnolently.

“Hello” said a hushed voice on the other end.

“Can you be a bit more louder???” I asked.

But he kept his flaccid tone and I felt more irritated.
“You have just 60 minutes left to get up from your bed, dress up and be present at the meeting place” he articulated.

“What meeting place?” I shouted. “I don’t know you and I am not going to come anywhere!!!”

He laughed and said “You will come”

“I wont!!!” I exclaimed. “I have nothing to do with you. You can try this trick on somebody else.”

He kept his prevalent tone and said “It’s better for you that you believe me. I am not going to do you any harm. I want to help you”

“I don’t need anybody’s help and I am happy the way I am. I have a job, I have a happy family and many friends for company” “What else do I need. I am happy!!” I shouted.

He let out a mild sarcastic laugh and said “Are you??”

I was losing my patience.
“Yes I am” I iterated.

“You say that you have everything and you claim to be happy with the things you have… right?” he asked.

“I am not claiming. I am happy”, I said.

He sighed and said “So you are not unhappy about your boss… you are not unhappy about your job…. you are not unhappy about lack of money….. you are not unhappy about not giving your parents a better standard of living…. you are not unhappy about your health… you are not unhappy about love….. you are not unhappy about your inability to buy a new house or a car….”

“Stop it!!!”, I shouted.

“Why?? Am I wrong anywhere??” He laughed.

“You are……. not wrong!!! But you are not right either” I tried to hide the vexation in my voice.

“So you say that I am right in my discernment” He asked.

I didn’t answer. This guy was making me think. His assessment was more or less correct. No….. He was 100% correct. I just surfed through my memory lane to find that such infelicitous material things haunted me always. But I never wanted to admit.

“Why?? Am I right my boy???” He asked again.

“Yes, you are!!” I said with much hesitance.

“Good. Since you agree, just get up from your bed and start moving. Remember you have just 57 minutes left” He said in an affectionate tone and disconnected the call.

I woke up holding the phone in my hand and I realized that it was the snooze function of the alarm that woke me up. The alarm had sounded 3 minutes before and that was what I misunderstood as the incoming phone call. But the voice and the conversation were still dogging in my mind and I couldn’t believe that there was no such call.

I searched my call list and found that there were no incoming calls in the morning. But there was a memo on the phone’s desktop.

Memo:
Interview @ 9:00 am
Wake up… You lazy boy!
Love. :-)

Infact, I had planned to skip this interview merely out of laziness. I checked the time and was shocked to find that the time was 8:03 am…. exactly 57 minutes to the scheduled interview. And believe me……. I never kept such a memo!!!!!!

Look before you tweet

I have started “tweeting” these days but I am not an ardent follower of this micro blogging engine- twitter. Might be because I find it very unwieldy to express myself in 140 characters. But I follow close to 300 people in this social networking champ. Some of them are my friends, some business related and some are eminent personalities and celebrities. One among them is Dr. Shashi Tharoor, Honourable Minister of State for External Affairs. I used to follow his tweets very closely and soon became a big fan of his short, sweet, meaningful and mirthful tweets. I was hopeful that at least through him the Indian politicians will learn to become more liberal and modern in their approach. But it was not so……

As expected in Indian politics, he soon ran in to troubled waters for his tweets. His tweet that he would travel “cattle class in solidarity with all our holy cows” which came in the backdrop of an austerity drive in the Government was hugely rebuked by the Congress party. The power greedy party leaders were trying all the tricks in the trade to throw Dr. Tharoor out of the Ministry. But some how he had a narrow escape this time….. might be because the Party President and the PM could understand the “wit in the tweet”. I think the tweet was just a humorous expression which meant no disrespect to anybody.

However, the comments in various online news sites were far beyond humour. Some comments from the readers of these news portals were urging and advocating to crucify Dr. Tharoor for his wit. Terrible I would say…. because I could not find another word to express my dissent against such ignorant people who tries to find fault with every other guy they meet.

Here I am biased in my thoughts… I like Dr. Tharoor, not as a congress leader but as a prolific author, a columnist and journalist, a humanitarian and human-rights advocate. I have read many of his books and I am a fan of his writing.

Now with this incident, Dr. Tharoor would have got a taste of Indian politics and hope that this won’t lock his key board and his activities. Expecting more of his services to our country and to its people…. and also more tweets as well!!!!!

The lesson learned here is “Look before you tweet!!!!!” for I fear that you will become a scape goat of power politics!!!!

ASEAN Treaty, Rum & The hanging

On my way to office yesterday evening, I witnessed a freakish and bizarre incident. The effigy of our Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh, was being hanged by the left comrades in protest against the ASEAN Treaty (better known as “aasiyaan karaar” here). This was followed by a 2 wheeler procession with comrades carrying red flags and shouting slogans against the Government and ASEAN Treaty. Such processions and protests are a common sight in Kerala and I was least amused. But hanging the PM’s effigy is far beyond logic and is quite unpardonable. Dr. Singh is one of the widely accepted and popular leaders of all times. Moreover, he is a great academician and economist, a zealous leader, a thorough gentleman and the architect of reforms in India. He should at least be respected for all his virtues and merits rather than hanging him for a collective decision made by the Government.

I am not biased in my political stands but I could not help but show my dissent, at least through this forum, against such flagitious acts. It reminds me that anything is possible in a democracy. And mind you….. in God’s own country you can gather 50 people to protest or for support at any time, provided you offer them a bottle of “Javan” rum, a plate of chicken biriyani and Rs 100 in cash. The rum component of the wage not only justifies the ear shattering slogans but also all the heinous “hanging” acts!!!

Potency test

Last week, I read an interesting article in an online news site about making potency test mandatory for couples. The news site was quoting Veteran Tamil actress Manorama's statement in this regard. She cited that potency test should be made mandatory for all couples before getting married and that medical certificates should be produced to prove it. This is applicable to both the sexes.

Such a rule will have pros and cons for sure. The potency test or fertility test done on women may lead to dire aftermaths like testing a woman's virginity and also testing her maturity to get married. But an HIV test prior to marriage should be welcomed with warm applause. I dont know whether such a rule is realizable at the present time or in the near future and also I am skeptical about the extend to which such a rule will prove to be useful. Moreover, like in every other practice in this country, this may also end up in issuance of bogus certificates by corrupt medical practitioners.

Anyway.... I wont be surprised to see some new key words adorning the matrimony columns in the near future......

Love is a mirror

"When you fall in love, you fall for a mirror of your own most present needs" – Deepak Chopra

Onam Shopping

Onam- the harvest festival of Kerala is now in its full swing. Malayalees who take pride in their rich cultural heritage celebrate this festival with pomp and in full spirits. Its a vibrant festival of colours, joy and prosperity. Every malayalee makes grand arrangements to welcome the virtuous and legendary King Mahabali aka Maveli under whose reign Kerala witnessed its golden era.

Onam season is the peak time of consumer goods business in Kerala. Every manufacturer and retailer comes up with a variety of offers during this season. Right from vegetables to home appliances..... from cars and bikes to flats and apartments, every business tries all the tricks in the trade to woo the customer. In cochin, this onam season was marked by the offers made by two of the most popular retail brand shops for home appliances. The super star of this seson was LCD televisions. Both the shops advertised the price of 32" LCD TV to be starting from Rs 21K. This rekindled my desire (which I had rested long ago due to exorbitant prices) to buy an LCD television and surprise my parents when I get back home during Onam holidays. So I decided to visit both the shops to compare and buy the super star of this season.

In the first shop, I was welcomed by an corpulent guy dressed as the great Mahabali. His costumes and body shape were such that even the greatest enemy of Mahabali will drop his head in shame. As I was scorning at the looks of the caricature, the so called "traffic controller" of the shop gave me a cold look and he asked me to park my vehicle properly to avoid further hoo-hahs. Thats when I realized that I had blocked the way to the parking lot. It took me close to 20 minutes and 100% effort to find a place to park my vehicle.

I entered the huge showroom and was balled over by the size of the crowd which occupied every nook and corner of the huge floor. Before I could recover from my shock, I was brisked away by a sales person and he took me to the section where LCD TVs were displayed. He started giving me a lecture on the brands that were displayed on the stands. I asked him specifically for the brand that was available for 21K. But he continued with his script. Every 5 minutes I reminded him about the 21K product and he conveniently ignored my question by demoing the best TVs available. Soon I lost my temper and demanded him to show me the TV that was advertised. He tried to convince me that the particular TV does not have long life and that the sound quality is poor. I again demanded to see the model and when my pestering went beyond the limits he told me that the TV was out of stock. I asked him why it was advertised in that day's newspaper if there was no stock. He admitted that it was a trick to pull the crowd in. And at last I questioned him whether such a TV is available in the market at all. He smiled. That was it!!! I walked out of the showroom cursing myself for falling in for such advertisements!!!!

I never bothered to visit the other showroom at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And guess what..... I decided to watch all the Onam programmes on my old 21" CTV....!!!!!

Pic courtesy: Internet

Nin mukham..... oru orma kurippu

A very old poem..... just a fond remembrance!!!!

Ennum ennum ente kinaavil
odi ethunnu nin mukham

thazhuki ozhuki aa thaazhvarayil
ninte maathram pon mukham

unarenda aa kinaavil ninnum enne
unarthalle madhura swapnathil ninnum

sundaramaam aa thaazhvarayil
ente nizhalaayi nee ninnu

sundariyaam nee enne
karavalayathil pothinju

ente praananaayi nee
aathmaavil kudiyirunnu

ennum ennum ente kinaavil
odi ethunnu nin mukham

thazhuki ozhuki aa thaazhvarayil
ninte maathram pon mukham...!

I'm in wordpress!!

Hi everybody..... I have migrated to wordpress. Please visit www.euphonical.wordpress.com

Your support is always invaluable!!!!!!!

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence

I work in a conventional Indian IT firm where strategies- sans logic- are born every other minute and real work flashes in a New York minute..... that too just occasionally!! Everyday I learn to leverage the available resources and strategize ways to generate the- so called- sustainable business.

My boss emphasizes the need to orient and align with the goals of the Organization and that each customer should be a qualified lead. Closings are always important but one should also keep in mind all those aspects and work towards building potential clients and relationships which can be leveraged to generate revenue opportunities and to meet our business objectives.

I wonder how many jargons and key words do I come across everyday. Some are repetitions, some are new and most modern, some are archaic and primitive. I wonder how I cope up with delivering all those elevated sales pitches that my boss insists. Sometimes hearing these jargons make me feel sick. Sometimes it makes me think. And sometimes I share it with my friends and laugh my lungs out or do it in the urban dictionary way..... "ROFLMAOSHISMP"*!!!!!!

I wonder why I am made to attend meetings with people who are paid twice and thrice my salary. In those sessions, I am impelled to answer all those questions, give explanations and feel the same pressure those guys go through. I am supposed to behave in a matured manner and am paid peanuts for going through all those blackjacks. For peanuts you will only get monkeys to work for you..... am I am one of those.....!!!! But I hate peanuts.... for sure!!!!

I think its time to "leverage" my "cutting edge" "core competencies" for "sustainable" and "exponential" gains to raise the crowd eye brows!!!!! :-)

The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence!!!!!!

*ROFLMAOSHISMP- Rolling on floor laughing my ass off so hard I shit my pants!!!!

Blonde pole dancer

“Smile - It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.”

My tryst with temptations

I woke up today with a sprained neck that reduced my head movement to just 90 degrees. I opened the front door to find the newspaper drenched in the rain. The morning discomfort was aggravated when I realized that the newspaper boy have taken the authority to replace the newspaper with the one I hated the most. I put the newspaper aside and searched for a morning fag and was delighted to find a lonely one in a packet behind the book shelf. Little did I know that I lacked the most needed ammunition to light the above said loner. The search for the match box continued for close to 15 minutes. I tried every trick in the trade to arc fire from the grandfather lighters which were just the remnants of their past dutiful souls. At last..... I left the urge to rest!!!!!

I put on the sneakers and went out to the deserted road for the morning walk. The rain started abruptly nipping my errand in the bud itself. I ran back home cursing my luck for this stillborn morning. "You should not accept failure.." I reaffirmed myself. So i decided to beat the rain by having my morning walk on the verandah. I put on the earphones, clipped the phone to my pocket and started walking. The music from the FM radio added rhythm to my walk. The process lasted till the end of the fourth song and the pleasant sounding RJ predicted 3 more days of continuous rain....... I went in to my room and continued my daily rounds of aerobics...... please dont misunderstand me..... its not the aerobics that you guys know..... it was invented just by me for my own convenience..... that by doing so I wanted to comfort myself that I am bound for a weight loss. :-)

After half an hour of "My-aerobics", I decided that its time for a coffee. It was still raining heavily.... so I took out my umbrella (btw the umbrella was gift...ok... and no prizes for guessing who gifted it) and started walking. The sides of the highway was adorned with big and small colourful hoardings of Tata DOCOMO.. the freshest addition to the evergrowing telecom market....!!! I reached the bakery and pushed the button of the vending machine.... Before I could see the result of my physical energy on the electronic medium, the shop keeper suddenly announced the "absence" of coffee powder... So I had to suffice myself with the so called fresh tea that came straight from the hills of munnar.......!!!! The puffs that adorned the glass displays gave me a hard time... I couldnt just ignore the beauty that smiled at me unfurling her folds and showing a piece of egg adorned with spicy onion, through the tiny pore on her fold. I tried myself to turn my back to her..... but she was so seductive and at last I succumbed to my temptation.... no ..... to her beauty.....!!!!!

Will Power

Lack of will power is the newest villain in my life. I never realised that I lacked such a great quality and second the fact that its indeed regretful to miss this virtue. Whatever it may sound like, I really need a backing to acquire this upstanding quality... sooner or it will be too late to repent!!!!

I am enjoying the newly found rhythm of climbing steps. Take one step at a time and it ties in to a fast paced music in your mind and body. Take two steps at a time... stretched ones..... you may gather more ground and distance but it relates to a melodious soothing euphony. But the rhythm and the beat changes when you descend. You tend to get delighted about the easiness of coming down and forget the rhythm and the music associated with the contrary. The melody is lost. Its common to mistake and map the easiness and delight to success until you find out the the comfort you enjoyed while descending have resulted in placing yourself at the bottom of the stack. Just take a glance at the top and you will realize that you will have to find a different rhythm, all over again, to climb back.... and that requires a lot of will power!!!!!!

Nowadays, I am getting exceedingly irritated. I have my hypertension to blame for my inordinate irritation. But that is quite unreasonable.... the effects of HT on your body is apprehensible but its effects on your mind and your thought process is unfathomable. It definitely have some known connection and I have no intention to explore more.

Let me get back to "will power" cultivation!!!!!!

Ramayana - Core Value Proposition

Ramayana - Core Value Proposition[gigya width="425" height="355" src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=ramayana-core-value-proposition-090607033823-phpapp01&stripped_title=ramayana-core-value-proposition-1544091" quality="high" flashvars="gig_lt=1246363367426&gig_pt=1246363473899&gig_g=1&gig_n=wordpress" wmode="tranparent" ]

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Courtesy: Kris Ashok for this brilliant presentation!!!!!

A conflicting hypothesis

The red ornate meat at the left side of my body is pounding heavily. I could feel the throb and the tireless flow of hot fluid......... doctors term it as hypertension. Quite strange..... hypertension at this age... very uncommon!!!!!

I have felt this throbbing before, when I was with my love..... long back in school. That was a delight... a feeling of joy but now....this is disturbing.

Wish everything is back to normal and that the throbbing happens only for love and not by any somatic disorders!!!!!

It was raining

It was raining.....

I waited for you and you never came

It was raining.....

I saw you in his arms and you tickled my bane

It was raining.....

I saw you with your child playing in the rain

It was raining.....

I saw you weeping at the end of the nuptial game

It was raining.....

You came to me and I was vexed about defame

It was raining.....

You talked to me but I was not the same

It was raining.....

You walked away and I lolled my head in shame

It was raining....

I cried and my tears were washed away by the rain

It was raining and its still raining!!!!

Social Networking for Enterprise - HR ConnectIn

Social Networking for Enterprise - HR ConnectIn[gigya width="425" height="355" src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=connectinbusinesscase3hr-090526113642-phpapp01&stripped_title=social-networking-for-enterprise-hr-connectin" quality="high" flashvars="gig_lt=1243365164034&gig_pt=1243365203356&gig_g=1&gig_n=wordpress" wmode="tranparent" ]

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The Overclouded World

Jasna was not that pretty. She was dark and short. Clad in a pair of black jeans and a dark red top which made her more untempting. But she had an aura which no one could ignore. I first noted her when she came walking through the railway platform trying to balance a heavy travel bag on her shoulders. She came and stopped right near the bench (the only vacant one in the station) where I was comfortably seated and alighted the burden from her shoulders. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and adjusted her dress which was drenched with sweat. She took the far end of the bench and never noticed my stagging vision which was closely spying on her for the past couple of minutes.

She sat there with her eyes closed... Her face testified the weariness due to the heat and the weight she was carrying. I waited for a few more minutes and decided to make the move.... though a bit apprehensive.

Me: Which train???? Kpuram Passenger?

Awakened by my sudden query, she opened her eyes. Her face demoed all the vexation for disturbing her thoughts and solitude. She turned to me abruptly as if she was surprised to see that other people also existed in this universe.

J: (showing her displeasure and also her apprehension of talking to a stranger) Yeah.

Me: Going to Kpuram?

J: (still showing the same emotions on her face) No. Kakkad.

(Kakkad is second last station and Kpuram the terminus)

Me: Ok. I think the train will be pretty much crowded.

J: mmmmm (She stretched her limps, adjusted her position on the bench and again closed her eyes)

Considering the cold response I decided not to ask any more questions. I was getting bored and the announcement about the late running of the train added oil in to the fire. The heat was unbearable too. I opened my bag to search for the head phones. Music was the only solace for me now. As I was fishing my bag for the ear phones, she turned to me and asked.

J: Where are you going?

Me: Kpuram.

J: Ok. At what time will this train reach Kakkad?

Me: The right time is 11.30pm. Since the train is running late I think it will reach there past midnight.

J: Ok.

Me: Whats your name?

J: Jasna and yours?

Me: Ram

(Silence followed)

Me: Are you studying here or working?

J: Working

Me: Where?

J: I am an artist. I mean an actress.

Me: (Excited) Ok. Thats great. This is the first time I am talking to an actress.

J: I am just a struggling one. Have done quite a few albums and tele films.

And she went on to list a few. I have seen and heard a few of the albums that she mentioned but I have never noticed her. Anyway she was not the main character in any of those. But I decided not to ask any more details.

J: I came here for a shoot and now going back home. What are you doing? Working?

Me: Yeah. In an advertising and event management firm.

J: Ok. So you might have lot of contacts in the film industry. Right?

Me: No. I am doing back office work.

J: Ohh.. Ok.

J: Are you going home?

Me: Yeah. Its weekend right!

J: Yeah. Its good that you people work for 5 days and go back home during the weekend. We have no such holidays. We either have lots of work or no work at all. For us, there is no difference between a week day or a week end. (sighing)

Me: But you people make a lot of money and fame.

J: Money and fame!!!!! Phew..... Is it the only thing people need?

Me: It is usually for money and fame that people get in to this profession. Isn't it?

J: Not all. There is something called passion.... passion for acting...! But others who see it from outside think that its just for money, glamour and fame. You dont know how much we had to sacrifice to fulfill our dreams and to satisfy the passion.

Me: Yeah.... I have heard about the casting couch and stuff..... that people are exploiting the struggling actors, both physically and mentally.

J: Thats true.... We have to compromise on a lot of things.......

Suddenly her attention was diverted to a fat person dressed in white who was walking down the platform towards us. He had a thick mustache and grey hair. His neck, arms and fingers were prominently adorned with gold ornamnets. From the expressions on her face I could understand that the person was familiar to her. She smiled at him as he came towards us. She suddenly stood up and turned towards me.

J: Thats the producer of my new album. I think I have got work........ for tonight and the rest of the week. (Then she thrust a paper in to my hand) This is my contact number. Do call me if you have any work for me.....

With a wicked smile she turned towards the fat guy and walked away with him.

Before I could digest the happenings, the train slowly arrived at the station. I boarded the train still clutching the paper in my hand. My mind was fully occupied with the character I met at the station. I took a single seat near the window and unfurled the paper. I took out my phone and started dialing the number. But something deep inside me forced me to stop in between. I disconnected the call and deleted the number. With out a second thought I crushed the paper in my hand and threw it away.

I leaned back on my seat and scrolled through the phone book on my mobile until my eyes fell on the name of the most special person in my life- my better half.... my wife!!! Without any hesitation I dialed her number. I knew that she will be waiting for me back home............ always!!!!!

Optimistic Pessimism

It was General elections today and this was the first time that my precious vote was not cast, ever since I turned 18. Do I miss the black ink mark on the index finger of my left hand? Yes, I guess.

It was a holiday today, but I preferred to work (or rather come to office) eyeing the compensatory off that is to be utilized next week for my cousin's wedding. I patted myself for not heeding to the innumerous phone calls from the 'machus' from my home town. Compensatory off and wedding were my trump cards against them....

Now its 12 midnight and just one more hour to go to hit the bed. Even after a myriad of phone calls and emails, I am left with no results. A bit tired and dispirited I decided to sit back and contemplate on the directions to strike gold. I tried to reassure myself that I am here to work hard and to bring home the bacon. Be smart..... I dictated myself.... but the journey has been so long and clumsy.... so cumbersome. What it emphatically incited in me is the uttermost minifying of self-assurance and self-confidence.

Tomorrow is yet another rosy day.... starting with the same old hopes......might as well end in abjection as always.....

Optimistic pessimism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The heat

The scorching sun, the heat

and the biting wind

the charring skin, the pelt

my withering rind.

Pitted with nature's fury

feeling its utter wrath

Mightier than I could carry

cutting short my deader path.

Larn to exist in this wind

fore the final outcry

assay to gain before the end

is the moral of the story.

Living on the edge

I cannot comprehend whatever is happening to me these days. A few months before I would not have imagined that I would get stuck in such complex situations. The emotional side of me is irrepressible and yearning for more....... But whatever it is and whatever is said and done, I enjoyed those moments and would never curtail the effluence. The streaming is gentle but uninterrupted and it is feeding the thirsty banks which were pining for a driblet of water.

My first instinct was to rue over it but now I thank myself because I at least have some pleasant befalling to bite on......and have something to think about and ruminate.... my mind is now surfeited...... and thankful for having such understanding souls around me to hold on to......

Dream Castles built on sand

Today the sea was so agitated. The waves were rising high and smashing against the shore. Darkness was creeping in steadily and the sunset was sporadically veiled by the dark clouds. The beach was almost empty except for a few sea side vendors who were packing their goods and cursing the weather for marring their business. A couple of kids were busily building sand castles using the wet sand that was watered by the high waves. The Girl was standing at the far end of the beach watching the waves and mulling over the similarity between the both- the agitated sea and her demented mind.

She knew that this was the day. The day when all her dreams will be shattered. She stood there waiting for the Boy to come. He had called her earlier today and asked her to come to this place. He sounded so formal and she read the undercurrents in his words.

They used to meet at this place regularly but this was her first trip to the beach alone. Her mind was disturbed like never before. Her thoughts shifted from the agitated sea to her quondam meetings with the boy. She remembered how she used to lie on his shoulder, holding his hand and listening to all that he had to say. But now she felt so lonely and tried to divert her mind from those thoughts. But she failed miserably.....

She was so immersed in her thoughts that she did not realize the presence of the boy near her. He stood there with out disturbing her and thinking of his mission to meet her. He had come here to meet her for the last time and to bid good bye.

The strong western wind was erratically playing with her hair and the dupatta. He moved closer to her and combed her hair with his hand, lining it to the back of her ear. She was suddenly wakened from her disturbing thoughts and took a step back. There remained an uncomfortable silence in the air. She looked at him with obscured feelings waiting for him to start the conversation. It was a strange feeling since they have not remained silent like this......... not even once..... as far as she could remember. But now.... a word has become precious like an oasis in the desert.

The silence grew with the darkness and it had become unctuously unendurable. But she sincerely wished this to continue because this silence was less painful than parting.

But his mind was engrossed in different thoughts. He wanted to end this excruciating silence. He put his hands on her shoulder and whispered to her "Sorry dear..... Good bye!!!!". She felt as if she was struck by a bolt and stood there completely shocked and immoveable. Without waiting for a reply he walked past her. She stood there following his trail with her moist eyes. She wished that he will stop and will come running back to her. But he continued to walk.... without thinking of the meaningless words that he uttered. On his way, he deliberately stamped on the sand castle build by the kids, destroying it completely.... exactly the way he ruined her dream castle that was pillared with her love......!!!!!

Delicious ambiguity

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next........ Delicious ambiguity"

Author: Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

Pic Courtesy: www.fridgedoor.com

Canary in a coal mine

I decided to lock my key board when I realized that my pennings have started to hurt people. It was neither intentional nor a deliberate attempt designed to defame people. Nevertheless I would like to unfeignedly apologize even for the slightest smite caused to anybody who felt that I was trying to sabotage their good name...... and in turn their life!!!!! Let me shower my sincere gratitude to people who never tried to understand the gist of whatever was written in this space.

I tried to control myself from continuing with this blog, tried to kill it in its infancy but an inner voice, which was quite strange to me, asked me to flow on.... till it meets it death naturally...

But I am sensing an impending danger- a vague vision but it keeps on recurring. A venomous snake clinging to my toe slowly inflicting in me its deadly poison right from the extreme end. I feel like I am dethroned from my ingenious kingdom which never existed. The usurper is a stranger to my eyes but a very familiar being to my subconscious mind. The pallor starts disseminating slowly covering me in a pall of glumness. I feel its phantasmal presence all over. I feel that the terminus is near..... very near that I can extend my hand and touch..... a pinning cold aesthesis!!!!!!

The Silent Witness

On a cold morning, 'Girl' wished to go for a long drive with 'Boy'. She liked such trips with boy and he had always obliged to her wishes. Their love had blossomed during such long drives. They always took the same road and that road was so special to both of them. There was a lone badam tree by the side of the road and Girl had developed some special attachment to the tree. She used to keep gazing at the tree when ever they passed by. That day she felt so special and remained silent during their drive down the deserted road.

Boy: (on a sleepy mode) What happened dear? Why are you so silent?
Girl: (turned towards him but remained silent)
Boy: (smiling) I think you had a bad night's sleep yesterday.... Were you dreaming about me??? he he!!
Girl: (still remained silent but smiled)

The badam tree was in sight at a distance and she kept her eyes on that. Boy looked at her and followed her gaze to the tree.

Girl: (keeping her eyes on the tree and like waking up from a dream) Have you ever noted that tree dear?
Boy: (as if he haven't seen that tree at all) Which tree?
Girl: Nothing
Boy: Oh... ok... that badam.... yeah... i have seen it. why? Whats it with the tree?
Girl: (remained silent)

She was in a dream land. She dreamt that they were standing below the tree holding each other on a tight hug. She felt as if she was on top of the world when she cuddled in his arms in this cold morning. Suddenly her dream was broken when the car came to a sudden halt. She opened her eyes and saw that boy had stopped the car right near the badam tree. Boy jumped out of the car and came to her side. He gently pulled her out of the car and led her to the tree. The cold morning breeze danced through her hair and made her more beautiful. He pulled her towards him and hugged her the way she wished. She forgot the surroundings and settled in his arms not letting this moment to slip away. She was so happy.... so contented..... she looked in his eyes with unexplainable emotions and kissed him. That was the best moment in their lifes.

The badam tree looked at them happily and wished them the best.

She held his hand tightly on their way back home. She was so surprised how her wish was granted. When she got down at her home, she went to him and whispered..... "I love you"!!!!!!!!

Years later, the boy was driving down the same road with his wife. He saw the same badam tree but now with the company of some bushes that sprouted out after the rain. The sight of the tree brought in him flashes of memories of his past. He looked at his wife. She was sleeping after the long and bitter argument they had previous night. He brought the car to a halt near the tree. His wife woke up and stared at him. He asked her to get down and she obeyed but with some dubiety. Soon as she reached under the shades of the tree, he pulled her towards him and hugged her. She was shocked and pushed him away angrily.

Wife: (shouting angrily) What the hell are doing? Are you mad?
Boy: (remained silent but staring straight at her)
Wife: You think that you are still a teenager. But you are not. This is a public place man and what an ambience to show love.... uhh!!!!!!!
(And she quickly got back in to the car)

Leaning on the tree he stood there for some time. Drained of all thoughts he got back in to the car and turned on the ignition. He gently looked at the tree and with a vacuous mind he drove away....!!!

The tree stood there with teary eyes and waved him good bye.... and waited for another spring to come driving by.......!!!!!

Doctored relationships

What does relationship mean?? It is a state of connectedness between people especially an emotional connection.  Being a social animal, we all have relationships. But to what extend are we emotionally involved.... say in a friendly relationship, in a love relationship, or in parental relationship etc.....? The point to ponder is the word "emotional".

We all use the word "affair" to depict a "love affair". The actual meaning of affair is- an intense amorous relationship, usually of short duration- A romantic and sexual relationship between two people who are not married to each other. But we all proclaim that somebody or even ourselves is having an affair. Do we really mean it that way? Or is it just that we are following the language that we are used to.

But in the recent times, relationships especially friendship and love have taken a slue towards the right meaning of the term "affair"....not to mention the emotional quotient. Relationships have been manipulated and doctored in all possible ways. Even a ten year old have started approaching the opposite sex just for the "affair" factor. Just imagine the plight of things when he/she grows up.

Lets not act as if we are not prone to it. It definitely includes you and me and it emphatically affects us. It definitely requires our sincere effort and ageless struggle towards building a better place to live.

Lets pray for a better place to live..... a place where each of us are emotionally attached to each other... Lets pray that we are filled and repleted with moral values and flavours of unfeigned love and care...... Lets pray........ !!!

I want to take you home

I open my window to see the "Kani Konna" with full of yellow flowers portraying nature in its full feel. The earth beneath is a canvas of fresh yellow. I leave all the lickings behind and I even forget the rising temperature. All I feel is just the caressing warmth of the beautiful nature.

A breeze came dancing in through the wooden frame fondling me gently, brushing my cares away. The soft melody that is circling in the background makes my day even more splendiferous. If you ask me for a single reason to live, I will say with out a second thought that I wish to live just to stand by my window enjoying this exquisite feeling forever.

I wish all my dear friends were here with me to enjoy this beauteous day. I wish "you" were here with me too. You know how much I wanted to take you home to stand beside me near the window, hand in hand, to enjoy this resplendent moment..... together!!!!!!

Rahmaniac......

"The picture says it all...... what a proud moment for all his fans...... the Mozart of Madras with his divine music has enthralled all.......

Yet another golden feather to the "already crowded" cap of this humble human being...!!!! Let this music go on forever........!!!!!!!"

Pic courtesy: Associated Press

yokefellows

Life...... gimme more!!!!!

The title seems like an avaricious goof's lament. But please don't be prejudiced... I am not one of those goofs who make a hue and cry that nothing is enough. I do realize that everybody desires more out of life and is not allayed with whatever they have..... and you may term me as one of them. But let me explain.....

It has been almost 4 years since I have become stagnant, both professionally and personally. Looking out for a new job or a new relationship gives me absolute creeps!!! I am afraid of things going wrong.... afraid of taking the turns.... afraid of meeting with failure.... and i know all these are common aches.... yet when it comes to self, its disgusting.

In a job, what would you feel if your are asked to report vertically, horizontally and diagonally??? Would you sense a role conflict?? Would you feel that the enjoyment is being tweeted out of your work??? How would you feel if you are over-supervised and duties are not delegated in the way it should be??? Its inviolable pandemonium!!!! And I am virtually in the heart of this bedlam.

I have been trying to change myself to fit to the environment. Trying to see the virtuous side of it with out complaining. But now it has come to an impasse... I want things to change.... I want things to be different...... I am ready to fight for a brand new beginning... ready to sacrifice... ready to forfeit all those comforts and comfort zones..... and in reciprocation I want life to give me more!!!!!!