Half measures

"She taught me to laugh,

to be kind yet tough,

and that half measures

are never enough"

-To my mother by Leonard Wise

Faded destination

Its very dingy and depressing to be unsuccessful. Its even more sore to realize our abominable workmanship. The craft of being successful has become a faded illusion to me. Now standing at the brink of a passing year, nothing is left in it for me to rejoice..... let alone survive!!!!!

Now I am ignorant of directions and I dont see any roads leading me to my destination.... I am wonderstruck since I dont actualize any destination at all....!!!!!!

Identify the 'real dogs'!!!!!

I was taken aback by the comment passed by the Chief Minister of the most literate state in India about the martyrdom of Sandeep Unnikrishnan. He stated that if it was not for Sandeep not even a dog would have turned towards them. He neither showed due respect to the patriot who laid his life for the country nor did he seem to be politically and diplomatically correct. In a country were diplomacy is always given a chance even when the heart has been shelled in to pieces, this should not have been a surprise to anybody.

We shed a part of our income to pay these public servants who has no control not even on their tongue. Lets take an example...... we have a maid servant at home and we pay her to do her job in the most appropriate manner. If she fails continuously to do her duties, what would be our reaction???? Will we keep her forever or we replace her with another one???? But in our democratic set up, we have to wait for 5 long years to show our reaction or objection to these hare brained and insane individuals.

I wonder where Mr. Maratha- jai Maharashtra- Raj Thackerey was when Mumbai was quivering in the terror attacks. It seems that his policy was not to allow any non maratha to live in Mumbai and it doesn't pertain to non Indians at all. Terrorists are most welcome. Very amusing policy indeed!!!! Mr. Maratha should realize that those brave Indian Commandos who lost their lifes to liberate the city were not marathas alone but were from different parts of India. Its time for Mr. Maratha to agnize that attacking the innocent people who come to Mumbai to earn their livelihood is not the right way to define bravery. If he really loves his birth place, then take action to restrict the entry of foreign terrorists who spits fireballs on the heart of the Motherland.

I know that nothing is going to change. Diplomacy will be given yet another chance. And all those "enlightened" rulers of the country will try to remain politically correct sacrificing the beautiful face of our Motherland.

Anomalous manipulation

How many of you beleive that cats are reincarnation of bad spirits??? How many of you consider the wild but domesticated creature as bad omen? Do you cancel your errands if a cat happens to cross your way? If your answer is a confused "yes", then please explain to me the logic behind your belief......

Recently, while driving my car down an empty road, I hit a cat accidently. It was late in the night... so I thought it was better not to stop the car to see the poor creature's plight. My cousin who was with me explained this incident to his old grand mother. She proclaimed that the cat we hit is a "rakshas"- a malyalam word for an evil spirit. And she asked him to be more careful..... because rakshas will avenge the cruelty eventhough it was an accident.......!!!!!

I was trying to guess the logic behind this..... I hate these superstitions which are quite irrational that bob up just because of fear and ignorance...... and people manipulate it according to their whims and fancies...... and makes these beliefs anomalous and extensively marked by incongruity!!!!!!

Punjab da sher

[caption id="attachment_152" align="alignnone" width="470" caption="nandu my nephew"][/caption]

Sher-e-Punjab: Nandu ready for a costume party on Grand Parents day

My Web 2.0 odyssey

I am a fervid user of social networking sites and blogs. Little did I realize that I am due to sell this technology to corporates in a country hit drastically by the economic disaster or “slow down”- just to go by the common term. Never in my wildest imagination did I ideate that Orkut, Facebook and YouTube had so much to do with collaborative computing and web 2.0.

Nowadays, whenever I log in to any of these sites, I fail to see the beauty and utility of these applications….. I forget to realize the essence and gist of these tools…. what curbs my mind is collaboration, content-syndication, messaging-protocols, plugins, widgets etc which broadly comes under the term coined by Tim O’Reilly as Web 2.0.

Now I realize that the beauty of anything and everything will be at sea when we understand what it is made of….. whether it is technical applications or human beings… the less we know, the more we like it…. and familiarity indeed breeds contempt……

Quitting vagabondage

It has been more than a month since I wrote something here. Was a bit busy with work and the time in office was a hectic caboodle of chafes. A whole lot of assignments and a new but tight schedule as well. The clocks were adjusted to account for the daylight savings time and that entailed that my sleep will be delayed for an hour more.

The pilgrimage season has begun and I am on a fasting fling. That implicated a strict shift in my zoophagous food habits and strict abstinence from any form of flirting (mental & physical), insobrieties and tipsinesses. The facial growth is getting denser with every passing day and hopefully I am bound for a weight loss too. The purity of mind and body are basal requisites during this period of austerity..... and that is an acclivitous task.........!!!!! I am tripping and falling.... straining to get up again and to be on course...... believing that I could elapse through the whole episode, perhaps with a bit of pain...... and ofcourse with His blessings...!!!!!!!!!

My Favorite Quotes From The Book Eleven Minutes By Paulo Coelho

My Favorite Quotes From The Book Eleven Minutes By Paulo Coelho

• "At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss."


• "While she was waiting for her Prince Charming to appear, all she could do was dream."


• "She had to content herself with loving and suffering in silence until the end."


• "When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side.  And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left!  How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly?  Life moves very fast.  It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds."


• "...but something always went wrong, and the relationship would end precisely at the moment when she was sure that this was the person with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life.  After a long time, she came to the conclusion that men brought only pain, frustration, suffering and a sense of time dragging."


• "I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure.  It's all a question of how I view my life."


• "(Don't) listen to the malicious comments of those friends who, never taking any risks themselves, can only see other people's failures."


• "If I can walk on my own, I can go wherever I like."


• "Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."


• "Despite her apparent freedom, her life consisted of endless hours spent waiting for a miracle, for true love, for an adventure with the same romantic ending she had seen in films and read about in books.  A writer once said that it is not time that changes a man, nor knowledge; the only thing that can change someone's mind is love.  What nonsense!  The person who wrote that clearly knew only one side of the coin.  Love was undoubtedly one of the things capable of changing a person's whole life, from one moment to the next.  But there was the other side of the coin, the second thing that could make a human being take a totally different course from the one he or she had planned; and that was called despair.  Yes, perhaps love really could transform someone, but despair did the job more quickly."


• "Beauty changes as swiftly as the wind."


• "Humans can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness.  It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings."


• "In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feeling and cannot blame someone else for what we feel."


• "As if everything had been ordained by fate, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if she had known this man all her life or had already lived this moment in dreams and now knew what to do in reality..."


• "That's my one great virtue: I refuse to deceive myself of you.  Because it's not worth it, because you don't merit a lie."


• "If he was the man she wanted him to be, he would not be intimidated by her silence."


• "Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle."


• "...but he should understand my insecurities, because I'm a woman, I'm fragile, and when I'm in that place, I'm a different person."


• "Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it.  But in order to do that, we need the other person.  The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."


• "I've learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you're with me, even when you're not by my side."


• "Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone.  >From that point onwards, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before--the attraction that brought them together--is impossible to explain.  It is untouched desire in its purest state.  When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.  When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions.  They know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself.  When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second."


• "Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free."


• "And that was now her great joy: to say to reality that she didn't need it, that she was not longer dependent on what happened in order to be happy."


• "Now she was searching once more for her reason for living, or, rather, for the kind of utter surrender by which a person offers his or her heart and asks for nothing in return."


• "Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place.  The greatest pleasure isn't sex, but the passion with which it is practiced.  When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim."


• "Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they're not.  When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing.  They can stay together for hours, even days.  They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or--such is the pleasure they experience--they may never finish it.  No eleven minutes for them."


• "Every human being experiences his or her own desire; it is part of our personal treasure and, although, as an emotion, it can drive people away, generally speaking, it brings those who are important to us closer.  It is an emotion chosen by my soul, and it is so intense that it can infect everything and everyone around me.  Each day I choose the truth by which I try to live.  I try to be practical, efficient, professional.  But I would like to be able always to choose desire as my compassion.  Not out of obligation, not to lesson my loneliness, but because it is good.  Yes, very good."


• "The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.  Anyway, if my love is real (and not just a way of distracting myself, deceiving myself, and passing the time that never seems to pass in this city), freedom will conquer jealousy and any pain it causes me, since pain is also part of the natural process.  Anyone who practices sport know of this: if you want to achieve your objectives, you have to be prepared for a daily dose of pain or discomfort.  At first, it's unpleasant and de motivating, but in time you'll come to realize that it's part of the process of feeling good, and the moment arrives when, if you don't feel pain, you have a sense that the exercises aren't having the desired effect."


• "If you love another person, you don't depend on the sex act in order to feel good."


• "The world enjoys suffering and pain.  There's sadism in the way we look at these things, and masochism in our conclusion that we don't need to know all this in order to be happy, and yet we watch other people's tragedies and sometimes suffer along with them."


• "As I say, it's the human condition.  Ever since we were expelled from paradise, we have either been suffering, making other people suffer or watching the suffering of others.  It's beyond our control."


• "Why was it that in God's holy world men were only interested in showing her pain.  Sacred pain, pain with pleasure, pain with explanations or without, but always pain, pain, pain..."


• "'I felt that pain is a woman's friend.'  'That is the danger.'  'I also felt that pain has it's limits.'  'That is the salvation.  Don't forget that.'"


• "That's why I'm telling you: don't get used to it, because it's very easy to become habituated; it's a very powerful drug.  It's in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams.  Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but it's seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self-denial.  Or cowardice.  However much we may reject it, we human being always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives."


• "Pain and suffering are used to justify the only thing that should bring only joy: love."


• "I need to love--that's all, I need to love.  Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly."


• "Original sin was not the apple that Eve ate, it was her belief that Adam needed to share precisely the thing she had tasted.  Eve was afraid to follow her path without someone to help her, and so she wanted to share what she was feeling.  Certain things cannot be shared.  Nor can we be afraid of the oceans into which we plunge of our own free will; fear cramps everyone's style.  Man goes through hell in order to understand this.  Love one another, but let's not try to possess one another."


• "Always making plans for the future, and always being surprised by the present."


• "In all the languages in the world, there is the same proverb: 'What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.'  Well, I say that there isn't an ounce of truth in it.  The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings that we try to repress and forget.  If we're in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots.  If we're far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them."


• "The only thing she could do now was to shed a few tears, feeling rather afraid of herself, an intelligent young woman, who had everything going for her, but who tended to make wrong decisions.  She just hoped that this time she was right."


• "She made this promise because she knew love's traps all too well, and knew how easily they can change a woman's mind."

A blithe theory

Being a man, I envy women for a whole lot of things. A man can never ever enjoy the pleasure of breast feeding nor could he experience the feeling of carrying a life inside his body. I asked quite a few mothers what they felt when they breast feed their babies. But none could give me a pleasing account on their experience.

One of my friends, ofcourse a man, explained to me an amusing theory on this topic. According to his school of thought, those baby boys who bite their mamma's nipples while breast feeding will grow up to become heterosexual men and the others become gays..... that was quite funny indeed. I wonder what might be the case with baby girls...... :-)

What a way to explain sexual orientation!!!!!!

Today.........

Today..............

Today... I feel like my hands are empty and my heart is vacuous ...... but if I assay to drop a word, I know it will spill over......... Its time for self discovery... not for self amelioration or self improvement.... because without discovering the lost self it would be inconceivable to improve......

I am trying to tune in to the music that my heart ineluctably needs.... but the chords are so wispy and obscure that I cant make out even a single note.... I want to accede in to a trance.... even that is unattainable.....

I am sacking the thoughts right here for the fear that it would bubble over.........!!!!

but "today"............. I wish....

Paulo Coelho: Post cards

[gallery]

Music in the Womb

This is my 38th week in my mother's womb. I am too excited to see the outer world... to experience the first breath....to feel the fresh air..... to see the world around....

Mom is also excited but she is frightened too....a typical delirium... she says that I have started moving tempestuously..... she can feel my hiccups too.... I am practicing breathing and blinking ;-)

My organs are fully developed now and the skin has started turning pink. My toenails and fingernails have grown to the tips of toes and fingers and my muscles are getting stronger too... Mom is feeling extremely uncomfortable and clumsier and is hurriedly packing her bags for the week long hospital detainment....

I am getting ready too... preparing to bid adieu to my 38 week old shelter... to become free from the armour.... but suddenly something started perturbing me.... i am going to miss this place.... I am going to miss the warmth of this adorable abode.... I am going to miss the lovely music vibrating inside.....reverberated by mom's unending love for the unseen piece of her own bod.....

I want to cry out aloud.... begging her to keep me inside.... to bask in the warmth of her womb and to relish the aeonian music......

Nice quotes

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.”

“And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.”

by Colin Raye


“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

by Theodore Isaac Rubin

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.”

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

Nine minutes

I felt like in heaven, when you were near me,
your hand over mine and legs across mine....
I took you in my arms and you never said no,
you gave me your lips and I kissed it with love....
I held your hips and pulled you towards me,
I felt your heart beats beating against mine,
I felt the warmth of your breath and
your breast never tried to be free from me....
The taste of your ears became mine,
your hair tangled with my beard and chest....
and it seemed you were counting my heart beats....
It was not long when that moment came,
with a heavenly jerk I was deep inside you......
measuring the unfathomable depth of your juciy inside..
and before I could say I love you,
it was all over and I was resting
on your beautiful self
counting your innumerable sighs........!!!!!!

Love

Word

As we grow up

I was browsing through some of the e-cards in the net and I bumped upon this one.....It was a colourful card with lots of floral designs. But it was the words that struck a chord somewhere in my mind.... Here it is... just for you........enjoy!!!!
 
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person who wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin....."

A simple story

There is lot to it than you merely see,
may be I am awry the way I foresee..
dwelling in the past I seemed to be done,
but today I opine, it was all fun..

Years have gone by, dallying around,
now its time to amass my ground..
hatful to learn, a lot to acquire,
to draw the advent days more insure..

The story is simple, the story is bare,
it all reckons on how we fare..
enounce a decree, one of our own,
and relish our life, sans fawn..!!!

Packets of love .. sent from Above

I was born in a middle class family. Both my parents were government employees and being the youngest child of the family I grew up as a spoiled brat. I was sent to the best school in the locality though it burnt my dad's pocket to a great extent. But he was so keen that I get the best education available. Though late, most of my wishes were granted and I was brought up in the best possible way.

My childhood days were mostly spent with my mother and my elder sister. Dad, being an Army Officer, was posted in different regions of this vast country and he used to come home on a one month vacation, once every year. I dont know whether I enjoyed his presence during those visits except for the gifts that he used to bring (once he even gifted me a Nike sports shoe which I used to wear with pride because it was a rare thing in my locality). I was always worried about his yearly visits because I thought it as a threat to my freedom. It was during the early years of my teenage that he retired from service and came home permanently and I presumed it as the end of my independence.

Dad and mom tried to groom me as a responsible and independent individual. I was asked to travel alone to different places so that I will learn from my experiences, solve problems on my own and be successful with out much help. I adhered to their policies till I finished my schooling and left for higher studies.

During my fortnightly visits, I started acting like a guest in my own home. I started to shy away from responsibilities and my interaction with my parents started decreasing. The time at home was spent either watching TV or browsing the net. They complained but I turned a deaf ear to their cries. Later on when I got a job and shifted to cochin, the same scenario continued. I wished to be the way they wanted me to be but I always failed to live up to their expectations.

Now at 26, my mindset has completely undergone a transformation..... I sincerely want to live for them. I want to give them all the happiness in the world. I realize that with out them it would be very hard for me to exist. I am afraid to think about a time when they are no longer there and I am alone......

One day when I woke up, I saw my dad standing inside my room. He was opening my cupboard and keeping something inside. I got annoyed and my first instinct was to shout at him. But I cut short my temper and gently asked him what he was up to. He said that he has kept his insurance papers inside my cupboard and that I may never know when it may come handy. Without much explanation, he walked out of my room and the salty liquid blinded my vision..........

I wish I could start my life all over again..... just to love them to the fullest and to make them happy just the way they fulfilled my life..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me explain.....

I met with thorough criticism from my friends, who are regular readers of my blog, that I always limn the darker and dourer side of life....that I always dealt with lost emotions, love, death, pain, bawlings, wounds and so on and so forth..... but I would like to pledge that this was not deliberate....its just the ruminations on the past commingled with downright imagination... and the later forms the bulk part.........

Let me try to pen down some positive mentations and some happy musings which will depict me as a cocksure material.....

But I still dont know why...... when I put the pen on paper it always turns out to be my "wounded whisperings"

Angel of my dreams

This is an impressive poem. I liked the lines so much that I thought of sharing it with you......

Angel of my dreams

Krishna Kumar

Once I had a dream, and an angel came through
All I could see, appeared so real, so true
She held my hands and took me around
I was lost, I was bound

I could feel her and so could I touch
She made me feel so good, so could she comfort
Holding hands on the beach
Talking under the moon whole night
Kissing and holding each other tight

Her voice would mesmerize
her words would summarize
the world of love, the horizon of togetherness
and I thought, this world would never capsize

Then there was a jolt and I woke up
I stretched my hands, searched and tried
she was not there and I was alone
gone was the dream and so was she

I could not accept I could not realize
She was gone and so was the dream
I cried and so did I scream
I wanted her, I wanted the dream
But thats not the fate, thats not destiny

For no matter the distance
Or the obstacles for instance
I will always belong to her
For we are meant for each other
not in reality, but at least in our Dreams

Then I think this is not the last time I am sleeping
This is not the last time I am dreaming
I will still sleep, I will still dream
I will still love, I will still gleam
No matter I loose, No matter I gain
I want to sleep & want to dream again

Thank you

It was another black eyed day.... a bad ending of a beautiful fairy tale.... and the prince and the princess got separated and they never lived together happily thereafter......
 
It had just a bubble's life.... but in the short span it taught me to be simple, loving, caring,  dewy-eyed and credulous (positively).....

Thank you for the 90 days of happiness...... and you made me a better human being.....!!!!!

Paulo Coelho

"whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth." ...."And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to acheive it."

Paulo Coelho

"mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d]"

Weekend is here..... I am in a festive mood... time to get back home after an irksome week....

The most important programme during my usual weekend is the Mavelikara* Ravivaar Durbaar. It started as a gathering of friends on a Sunday evening and then got extended to Saturday evenings as well. Now we call it "Durbaar" instead of "Ravivaar Durbaar". The below passage will give you a detailed explanation about our Durbaar.
"mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d] is a coLLaboration of paLs who've grown up together, studied 2gether, Lived 2gether, Loved together & even had their 1st peg 'n puff together!

Itz a Weekend Fiesta ceLebrated with aLL its vigour & pomp & ecstasy! Friends meet over a bottLe of beer or 2 & share their experiences, sing an oLd nostaLgic song; once sung by/to their loved one, discuss trivias, probLems, movies, Love, marriage, sex, music, profession, dreams, aspirations, family & anything & everything under the sun!

We dedicate this community to aLL those who made our lives miserabLe, who broke our hearts, who turned a deaf ear to our laments & who pLayed with our seLf respects...We wish them aLL success & luck in their future endeavours & let 'em know that even when our life's a heLL & whatever bad happens durbarians wiLL be together.... 4ever!

Remember... Shit Happens! But the butt cheeks get closer after all that!

Love Live mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar!"



Now, let me introduce you to the members of the durbaar:

The Cast:

Anish Nambothil: My childhood friend born juz ten days after me.... a tall libran and a hard core Mammootty fan (well...in this case he is the odd one out in the durbaar). His favourite food is "karikku" (tender coconut), omlette and idli. Working as Channel Sales Manager for Idea in Kollam District.

Aakaash Nair aka Vishnu: My school mate and a very good friend. He stands out in any crowd bcoz of his long hair and pony tail. A creative being, struggling to make his mark in the film industry. A good writer and a visualizer and we all are looking forward for his success in the unpredictable industry.

Manish Pillai aka Tittu: My nephew (rather a bro) and a new found friend. He was the biggest discovery for me in my family. Born and brought up in Mumbai but settled in Cochin due to "personal" reasons. He is my partner in crime. Working as Operations Manager, ICICI Lombard, Cochin.

Adv. Rajesh Kaimal: My neighbour, elder brother, friend and a supporting hand. An Advocate by profession,but working in Bajaj Alliance, Thiruvananthapuram. He is a joy to be with and his situational comedies invokes comic currents in the Durbaar. His family consists of his wife, Aathira chechi and their naughty twins- Bhadra and Rishi, who are celebrating their first birthday this month.

Jayakrishna aka Jithin: He is Anish's cousin brother,my neighbour and friend too. He has just finished his graduation and currently doing Cisco networking certifications. Youngest in the group but never short of words. Ready to do anything at the word go. He is the opening pace bowler in our local cricket team.

Anish Krishnan: He is Anish Nambothil's class mate and a good friend of mine. He is a chatter box and likes to talk about anything and everything under the sky....and he has got the knowledge too. He is working in a software firm in Cochin.

Guest Appearances:

Dr. Kurian Ninan: My schoool mate and a good friend. He is a Doctor by profession and currently in Mangalore doing his PG. He is no longer single... got engaged very recently.

Arvind: My neighbour and team mate in our local cricket team. Currently in Bangalore giving final touches to his MBA.

Vineeth Unnithan: A friend of mine and a pinch hitter in our cricket team. A hard core Lalettan fan and does not miss to watch the first show of any of his movies. Currently in the process of clearing his MBA exams.

Arun aka Jayan aka haskey: A childhood friend and a neighbour too. He is a master of all trades. A hard core computer professional and a kind hearted business man (an extinct species nowadays). Polite and always to the point. A peerless addition to the durbaar.


George Thomas: Mumbai ka daan...... he is my school mate and a good friend. Now in mumbai hopping jobs every now and then. He is a marketing professional in the hotel industry.

Gokul Pillai aka Sankaran: He is Manish's younger bro and my nephew. Makes yearly visits to Kerala and takes part in the Durbaar. Working in Deutsche bank, Mumbai.

Krishna Kumar Varrier aka Kris aka KK: My colleague and a very good friend. He has been to Durbaar on one of his visits to my home. He is an encyclopedia of Hindi songs and emotes those songs really well. He is working as Asst Manager (HR) in Assyst International, Cochin.

Supporting cast:

Santhosh: An elephant fanatic and the all in all of Kottakkal Arya Vaidya sala, Mavelikara.

Sathish Nambothil aka Kochumon: Anish's elder brother and a friend of mine. He runs his own paper mart and book store in Mavelikara.

Monayi: He is a chatterbox and adds masala to the topics that he usually takes up. Now in UAE.

Director:

Sandpiper

Associate Directors:

Wills Navy Cut, Gold Flake, Kings

Assistant Directors:

Kurkure, Lays, Idli and scrambbled egg from "swayambhu" thattu kada, opener, lighter and match box

Location:

Terrace of DB building overlooking KSRTC bus stand and the pond '"Valiya kulam" that has some historical importance.

Time for me to go......... all you guys are most welcome to the Durbaar.....

Cheers...........!!!!!!

Marooned........

I am marooned in an 80 sq ft room with a cell phone and a galore of books. The contradiction in my statement is intentional...marooned with a cell phone!!!!! But its true. Though the cell phone connects me to the external seasoned world........there lies no help...no aid at all!!!!! I used to shout my throat out..... I waited for a silver lining.... a slimmer of hope...a heeding ear...a helping hand.... but in vain!!!! Indeed a belie........!!!!!

The books colligates me to the virtual world... a castle made of dreams.....but so untrue. I am fed up of dreaming....I am sick of believing that these lifeless creatures will evince me how to live a better life.....

I know that on the far side of the door, there is light... there is a Brobdingnagian world waiting to be conquered...... but something is coercing me and drawing me back from opening the door...... an inconspicuous and invisible force called my conscience...... its confining me inside the four walls......... I wish to break the shackles........ I wish to be free........... I wish the light to illuminate me....... 

I am waiting for a storm to sweep me by my feet and turn me upside down and make my life a different one..... a complete metamorphosis.....!!!!

Not to be continued.............. THE END!!!!!

God save God's own Land....

I was absoultely beguiled when I read an article in The New India Express dated 31st July 2008 titled "When the going gets tough, the tough..........run and hide" The article has been penned in reference to the recent bomb scare that sent shock waves across our city. The author Manoj K Das has used irony as a weapon to deal with the so called patriots of our state. He has raised a lot of questions for the politicians and even the common man to cogitate about. (I consider politicians not as common man but a class well below them).

Manoj doesn't leave any stone unturned in indirectly criticizing all the political outfits. He enquires where the khadi clad young turks, the young comrades and the saffron brave hearts were, when the state was sweating in the bomb scare last week. He ridicules them for doing a vanishing act at the time of need.

Not only does he give a subtle hint about the all-weather protest by the young turks against the Class vii text book but also does not forget to compliment the comrades who did a wonderful act by smoking the godmen and women out of their spiritual heavens. He says that we had watched with pride when these young politicians tore off one mask after the other. But none of them were seen helping the cops or the common people to search for the explosives. He chips in that we all expected at least the saffron brave hearts to build a human wall in between the explosives and an innocent life.

He again raises a question about what happened to Hindu leaders, Church Pontiffs and Moulavis who were worried about the threat to the secular fabric by a text book.

He concludes by saying that all those people, both political and spiritual, are used to shadow boxing and are weak-hearted that they crumble at the first sign of danger.

And in response to the article, Dr. Titus Sankaramangalam has rightly pointed that even a mosquito can wreck the state...keep apart bombs. He says that the curious thing about the scare was none of the politicians called for their ultimate weapon- The Hartal. Satirically, he exclaims that the hartal is the perfect safety device!!!!!!!!

Kudos to Manoj and Dr. Titus for trying to bring the attention of the people to such a shady contradiction. Five thumps up for both of them for their wry but strong statements.

To wind up, I would like to quote Manoj's lines..... "God save God's own land"

I Truly Object........!!!!!

All these days, I have been writing poems and my complex thoughts. Now I have a sudden realization that I should write down whatever that is going through my mind. I decided to give it an attempt and to see what comes up......

At present, the situation around me is not so encouraging. Both, my personal as well as professional life is at a stand still. I want something new..... new means a new environment... a change from the routine..... i know that everybody experiences such things through out their life's.... but when it comes to self, its quite disturbing..... we tend to lose interest in things around us.....

My senior manager for the last 3.5 years is being shifted to a different department..... I thoroughly understand the undercurrents.... but I can do nothing but accept whatever is happening....a feeling of helplessness. He was a man with deep compassion for the fellow beings, be it his colleague, friend or anybody around. A committed man... married both to his organization and his job.... he was instrumental in retaining many employees in the company..... and the price that he had to pay for his commitment, which I believe, is truly dissentient and objectionable. And I want to say this to all you deaf ears.......... "what you did now is fallacious and shows extreme callowness!!!!!!!!!!

Confidence

I am only one, but still I am one;
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something;
and because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do something that I can do....

-Edward Everett Hale

Lesson

Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.

Zeitgeist

In sync with the spirit of the time..........the spirit characteristic of an age or generation.........the spirit so unaltered, so unchanged!!!!!

At first, I never believed in it.... tried not to cogitate about it and never ever tried to abide by it....i consider this as lack of perception, intuition and imagination....

Then I realized that this spirit is true and unfeigned. True to the core.... completely innocent and impeccant.... gentle and docile....

I made up my mind and decided to pursue this spirit. I waited for the dawn to hold me with its golden fingers...... to hug me gently and to feel comfortable in its bosom.....to experience the lovely feeling which i have heard about.....and wished that it will exculpate me...... but its always late when the realization dawns on me......

and then it was morning....

Pushing the river

Pushing the flowing river

Severely burnt, severely crushed
I stand here with nothing to earn
loosely tied, perpetually disfigured
I stand here mentally opaqued

Lonliness, I say is a blessing to me
but bane to many who detest it
living life is a burden to me
and that is how I wanted it to be..........

Rendezvous problem

Rendezvous problem

''Two young people have a date in a park they have never been to before. Arriving separately in the park, they are both surprised to discover that it is a huge area and consequently they cannot find one another. In this situation each person has to choose between waiting in a fixed place in the hope that the other will find them, or else starting to look for the other in the hope that they have chosen to wait somewhere.

If they both choose to wait, of course, they will never meet. If they both choose to walk there are chances that they meet and chances that they do not. If one chooses to wait and the other chooses to walk, then there is a theoretical certainty that they will meet eventually; in practice, though, they would need an infinite amount of time for it to be guaranteed. ''

Now the question is...... should I walk or juz wait...........

The African Lesson

"The African Lesson"

"Every morning in Africa, a deer wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.........,
Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest deer or it will starve to death.......,
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a deer....when the sun comes up, you'd better be running...........!!!"

For the past quarter of a dozen years, I have been running slower than the slowest deer...... Its high time to sharpen my faculties and exhort for an ultimate renaissance..... rise like a phoenix from the ashes of desolation....!!!!

My pyre is already decorated....... decorated with insane manifestations of imbecile beings.... whose strategies and approach seems harebrained and cretinous....!!!!

Its time for a dash....a final sprint towards the long forgotten goals...... a lam from the imbroglio and pandemonium....... and the much wanted inspiration imbibed from "The African Lesson"!!!!!!

The handicapped turtle.........

The handicapped turtle.........

Everyday I wake up to realize tht nothing is the same..everything seems to be a lot different... I wonder what is in store for me each day..!!!

I wake up to a blue light blinding my vision, I could hear some loud music vociferating in my ears as if an earphone is plugged in.... I try 2 remove it frm my ears but the effort was in vain and the music continued 2 flow endlessly.... I tried to close my ears but the music persisted .......a perpetual earphone was plugged in to my ears.....

I continued to search 4 things that will make me happy... though I realize tht there is nothing called ultimate happiness but only intermittent impulses of happiness!!!!

Sometimes I feel vulnerable....so vulnerable to desires, to passions, to emotions, to love and much more.... sometimes I feel so fragile, so delicate, so brittle... even the slightest vibration can damage my soul.... I wonder why I am putting on an unbreakable, hard and opaque cover all over me.. when i am so easily ramified and annihilated by even a gentle vibe... voluntary or involuntary..!!!!

This might be another masterpiece created by the Ultimate Hand.... who also gave forms to the turtle and the oyster....!!!!

And here He made a handicapped turtle........!!!!!!

The Bohemian Rhapsody....!

The Bohemian Rhapsody....!

I have realized that my words are obsolete...... my thoughts rusty....my emotions abstract.....and every thing about me is archaic.....

I decided to look at my life with a different perspective.... I looked in to the mirror to see what adorns it.....I felt as if I have turned blind.....I couldnt see anything.... not even a vague reflection....not even a silhouette.....just dark greyish smoke......thick suffocating smoke...........

I felt a pain in my back....I could feel the flow of hot blood....it was running down the back of my legs.... I looked down.... saw a pool of blood around me.....I turned around to get a glimpse of the friend who did it to me.....nobody was there....I looked again....this time more carefully.....through the smoke I could see familiar faces....happy faces.....faces of people whom I know.....my parents, my family, my friends, my acquaintances............

the rhapsody continues..........

The coveter....!!!!!!

You came in to my lush green garden
with infinite variety of seasons
the herbs and the child lawn
greeted you with smile so beloved.

My thoughts are still rusting
wondering what made you mine
can we ever pledge what knot-
the lawn and the dew drop sense.

Yonder, I say to my dear rose
in the far western horizon we meet
not this day, not tomorrow
at the end of this act so beautifully played.

A role so venomous I play
venomous to the holder and the beholder
treachery in all its vigour
would perish only with my last breath................!!!!!!!!

Cupids arrow

Cupid has struck me right in my heart
and my heart is no longer mine
oh my rabbit, you have conquered all my senses
and my senses longed to make you mine.

Her face, round as a lunar replica
her teeth shined like pure diamonds
her lips are like rose petals
and her silky hair danced in rhythm with the breeze................

The mighty

His face was a careless carving
a bad workman's ugly sculpture
ugliness in all its vigour
was a bad omen to all those pass by

It was a tragic end to a happy life
a beautiful flower withering in the sun
was handsome like a dew drop
but is cautiously vanishing in daylight

He has reached the evening of his life
now its time to bid adieu
the mighty came like a cunning fox
and took him away from this dirt.......................

An inspiring poem by my friend..........

Abruptly awakened, thoughts dissolved and shaken,
Innocent euphoria returned followed by deepest despair,
Wallowed in troughs with my feet, searching thoughts unknown,
Balancing was not ease to do, feelings unfathomed

Tired not to do, forced not to go, but again pushed myself
Completely succumbed by the only worldly truth; pain
Nothing but the pain of love: Unconditional Love,
An ache, long endured, finally healed through and through.

Unconditional, the only hypothesis; corroborate,
Opine, the feels and the sense of it drowned me,
Chained by memory, locked by worldly ties,
Cede, tried not to…. I believe; I tried not to

Never asked for love; unconditional?
Never asked your side; unconditional?
Never asked the shoulder to rest; unconditional?
Never asked to hold my arms; unconditional?

Clouds of fog, each, we carry, heavy, that past,
Time's against us, moving fast, breath or two, and then the last,
Faded, indistinct stuffed thoughts, still on consideration,
But you see it is unconditional; Ad infinitum

The belly dancer.

Dedicated...............

To the belly dancer, who have never done a belly dance in public........
to the belly dancer, who taught me to love.........
to the belly dancer, who with her words and deeds, left an everlasting impression of love in me........................
to the belly dancer, who sow the seeds of passion and compassion in me.......
to the belly dancer, who liked my touch and adored my kiss.....................

to my belly dancer.............................. I LOVE U & I always will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The subtle thief...!!!

As I fly like a seabird,
but with directions so ignorant,
enjoying every bit
of my precious, priceless life...............

Many things I propose in my so small a stay,
but there is something adamant to dispose..
death as a subtle thief sneaked in to my life..
took away, my so small but precious priceless life....!!!!

Wounded..............!!!!

You reminded me of my long lost love,
and dug my love's burial ground,
has committed an unforgivable mistake,
and wounded my already wounded heart.......

Oh cruel! my heart is still bleeding,
bleeding at the cost of my love's life,
do not punish me yet again,
this heart can gather nothing more...............